Re: Going Crazy -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: Going Crazy

Author:
Heather

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Date Posted: 01/19/09 8:13pm
In reply to: Leah 's message, "Re: Going Crazy" on 01/16/09 1:26pm

Hi Leah,

Congrats on the heartbeat! That's pretty amazing to hear. During one of my prenatal check ups, I heard the heartbeat of my daughter when she was still very young in my pregnancy and I called home so my husband could hear. He wasn't there to pick up the phone so it went to the answer machine and my nurse midwife just let it record on the answering machine for about 30 seconds.

When I got home, it was crystal clear on the machine! My daughter is now nearly 7 yrs old, but I still keep that message. I played it for her when she was 5 and she was amazed.

Did you tell your boyfriend yet?? I think the idea of letting him hear the recording is a good one. Like one of the other women pointed out, I think it's a lot harder for the father to grasp the reality of the situation when the baby isn't growing in their body. Hearing the evidence of the new human life may help him accept the arrival of this little boy or girl.

And if he isn't thrilled at first, he may be when he gets to hold his son or daughter for the first time. Certainly wouldn't be the first time it's happened! :)

Don't forget to take good care of yourself - extra rest, good food....

Did you ever get a copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting?" They probably have an extra copy at the Pregnancy Resource Center. I'm really glad to hear you've felt supported there.

Love,

Heather

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[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Going Crazy

Author:
Leah
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Date Posted: 01/20/09 9:49pm

Hey everyone well I told him....and it didn't go great but he didn't go all crazy on me...but I just know that he is freaking right out,and I have no idea what to expect???? When I told him I was pregnant he said "with a baby"....and me being an idiot said no KITTENS....what was I thinking???? I tend to get pretty sarcastic when I am scared and it just came bursting out of my mouth....of course it's a baby!!! I don't know...he was more calm than I expected,I couldn't send him a text b/c he is working in an area right now with only limited phone use.....sigh. He kept asking me if I thought this was good idea and he kept saying soooo......what then???? I told him I am keeping the baby,that I have been to hell and back these past few months and that it's not even a question for me anymore. I don't know what to think....I know he needs time ,and he has to take in the news,it 's just hard waiting...I just want to know either way...please hope good things for me,thanks.

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Going Crazy

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 01/21/09 1:23am

Hi, Leah,

I cracked up when I read what you told your bf. Sorry, couldn't help it! I think it was a good answer, myself. :) What does he expect? You folks did the thing that causes babies, and even though that isn't what you intended, it happens. You can remind him that few babies are perfectly timed. Hey, by now, your baby is more than just a good idea. :)

He does need time to adjust. You did. He may try to pressure you about it. Just stand firm. He will eventually give up. Let us know how it goes. We will be here any time you need to vent. We will pray for all of you, that it will go well. You'll just have to be patient and strong, and take one day at a time.

Hugs,
Pat

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Going Crazy

Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 01/21/09 8:29am

Hi Leah,

Well hopefully you have some relief from having finally told him? I think it worked out best for you that you worked out in your own mind and heart what you wanted to do first. Actually, considering the range of reactions unexpecting dads have had (you can even go back and read on this forum!) yours did pretty well.

It's definitely hardest when they first hear. Once he has time to adjust to what you've been processing for months he may well come around to be highly supportive. But if not, you can still be ok.

Sounds like you're very perceptive to his need for time to process, though. I hope the best for you guys.

Refresh my memory, how far along are you now? 14weeks? You'll probably be able to feel the movements your baby is making in the next couple of weeks, but it will probably be a couple of months before they are strong enough to be felt from the outside by your bf.

Hearing the heartbeat or better yet watching an ultrasound would probably be a huge help in the processing for your bf.

Actually, if you're past 13 weeks there's a good chance that the gender can be seen on an ultrasound, if that's something you want to know ahead of time.....

Any guesses as to what you're having? I gave up trying to guess the gender of my babies beforehand as I was always wrong, lol.

Heather

[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Going Crazy
Author: Melanie [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 01/25/09 11:26pm I got a kick out of your response myself. Sometimes a little sarcasme and/or levity are helpful. LOL I'm glad to hear he didn't totally freak out. Hopefully that's a very good sign. I pretty much agree with what Pat said, so I won't "reinvent the wheel" and repeat it. Keep us posted. :)