| Subject: Re: not sure how to handle this |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 10/29/07 9:27pm
In reply to:
Jackson
's message, "not sure how to handle this" on 10/29/07 3:36pm
Hi, Jackson,
I am really glad you came! It is rare for a guy to come, and I always appreciate it. And you seem like a really supportive kind of guy. It would be wrong to suggest abortion, because she would feel it as coercion or pressure, even if you don't mean it that way. As the father, you should seek to encourage her to protect your baby.
Keep telling her that you are taking your share of the responsibility (or blame).
I can really relate to your situation. I am also an artist, and I'm not making much. I know I should be, but the competition is keen. But it sounds like you do have at least one steady income. That will help; erratic income is a lot harder, even if steady income doesn't seem like enough.
Yes, you can definitely accomplish your dreams. I don't see offhand why you can't just because you have a child. First of all, I'll tell you that my husband got a PhD after we had our first child. I got my bachelor's degree after we had four children, and at the time, three of them were preschoolers. Sometimes you have to go a little slower, but not necessarily. It all depends on how you plan things, what your goals are. For one thing, you should be able to get things like a Pell grant. At some universities, there is a college outreach program that will also help with resources. You can check into that. And your local crisis pregnancy agency will also help.
Traveling is also a possibility. We didn't do a whole lot at first, but we also had seven children, and that makes it a little more difficult. A lot depends on where you want to travel. If you are willing, for instance, to travel in the United States (assuming that's where you live), you can get a used SUV, pack up the three of you, and go. Or you can do it a little later. We did some traveling (I just packed the kids into the station wagon and went where I wanted to go, usually to visit relatives), but to some extent I chose to wait until our children were grown, even though I wanted to take them places. Now that they are grown, I have been doing a lot of traveling. I get the wanderlust two or three times a year, and off I go for a few days. My parents, on the other hand, took the two of us someplace every summer, and we were gone for two weeks at a time. We went to a lot of beautiful places, such as the Grand Canyon, Carlsbad Caverns, Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon, and so forth. It was fun to retrace those steps as an adult, taking the pictures I didn't get to take as a child. And I have been some places we didn't go. Other times, we went to see relatives. I had some really interesting relatives, and it was always a delight to visit them.
Should you decide to homeschool, you can travel more, and it will be very educational. We homeschooled.
Let yourself dream. You are entitled. You are both strong and capable. You'll make it. Be strong for her.
Take care,
Pat
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Re: not sure how to handle this