Re: very confused and scared -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Saturday, May 11, 3:21:04

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Subject:

Re: very confused and scared

Author:
Melanie

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Date Posted: 10/11/07 3:11pm
In reply to: melissa 's message, "very confused and scared" on 10/11/07 7:47am

It's really easy, sometimes, for a guy to suggest abortion because they don't have the connection that the mother does early on. To them it is just an abstract concept. That is why sometimes their attitudes can change so dramatically from earlier to later.

You do have your hands full. What sort of support do you have? The thing I would recommend, regardless of what you end up doing, is that you find some support and help where you are. For instance, there are support groups for mother's with multiples that might be helpful to you. If you have a church, you can sometimes find support there. There are also Crisis Pregnancy Centers that can refer you to community resources.

I can't promise you all of a sudden things will be easier if you keep this baby. I am quite sure that you feel you cannot do this alone; and you could be right, but you don't necessarily have to. You just might have to rely on others besides the father, at least in the beginning. You never know, either, as he may well change his mind once he sees an ultrasound photo, or the baby. At either rate, the abortion just alleviates him from his responsibility and he would be financially responsible for this baby, including medical.

At any rate, you have options other than abortion if that is not what you really want deep down. I know when you are so tired and strapped, it just seems easier, but it isn't always so simple.

Hang in there, and let me know if I can do anything. I'm not always on this board, but please, do feel free to e-mail me anytime.

--Melanie

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Replies:

[> Subject:

Re: very confused and scared

Author:
Shellie
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Date Posted: 10/15/07 2:24pm

Melissa,

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through! You must be a mess of emotions! My heart goes out to you. I'm sure you're feeling hopeless right now.

I was wondering a few things:

1) What happened to your and your husband's marriage?
2) Is there any chance you'll get back together?
3) Do you have any support from family and friends?
4) I'm sure you've thought about how having this baby would cause problems (a normal thought process that goes along with an unplanned pregnancy). Have you considered how aborting would affect you?

You do not have to answer any of those questions....but I hope you will. It may help me know what to say.

Thoughts and prayers,

Shellie