Re: New Here...Feeling Alone and Scared -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Monday, May 13, 5:51:22

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, [6], 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

Subject:

Re: New Here...Feeling Alone and Scared

Author:
Tracey

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 06/20/07 1:30pm
In reply to: Laurel 's message, "New Here...Feeling Alone and Scared" on 06/19/07 10:43pm

Laurel~
Hello and welcome! It sounds like you have a thousand emotions running through your brain all at once. It's great that you are seeking help and advice. You need to get your emotions out and talk...it's not good to keep everything bottled up and to yourself.

Your ex sounds like he's having a ton of issues himself. It's probably good you distance yourself as much as possible until he gets help or at least begins seeking it. It sounds as if his injury has caused this roller coaster of emotions for him and he needs help figuring a way to cope and deal with his fears, depression, and anxiety. Some people try to, "White knuckle" it and just grit their teeth and deal. The problem is that this is just no way to live...always fearing what emotion is lurking just beneath the surface. Seeking help can help him in coping and treating his illness instead of just acting like it doesn't exist and being miserable. In times like these, "tough love" is often necessary. Explaining to him that you love and care about him, but need to be able to depend on him emotionally and not fear how he will respond when you need him the most. And that you need him AND his child needs him...but the most important thing you need from him is stability and the best way to gain this is by seeking help to treat his problems and depression.

And you need to take care of YOU as well! This kind of stress isn't good for you or the baby! That being said, we want to offer any help or advice we can. Please let us know your needs, so that we can better help. If you need counseling or baby items, or all of the above, we can find resources in your area to assist you. Just let us know. You have found a safe and supportive place...feel free to post anytime as often as you like. Please continue to come back and keep us posted! You, your ex, and your little one will be in my prayers!
God bless,
Tracey

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: New Here...Feeling Alone and Scared

Author:
Pat
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 06/21/07 12:12am

Hi, Laurel! I am VERY glad you came!

I get the impression that bipolar problems surface when things get really tough and a person can't cope anymore. I have had some indirect experience with this.

You are bonded to your baby's father because you had sex with him. This arouses emotions in a woman that come from hormones from the activity. It is normal and natural for you to want your baby's father to be there and be a good father. It is likewise normal and natural for you to want to be a family.

Please go to a crisis pregnancy agency and get some counseling, and some help with your material needs. You are entitled to experience joy in your baby, and the current circumstances are robbing you of that joy.

Other than that, be patient. Try not to get too emotionally involved with the father. If he wants to shop with you, I agree I don't see any harm in it, but be careful because if he swings the other way, it can drag you down. Be prepared to distance yourself from him when this happens, for the sake of both of you. Encourage him to seek help.

We will be here for you!

Hugs,
Pat

[> [> Subject: Re: Thanks!

Author:
Laurel
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 06/28/07 9:59pm

Just wanted to drop a quick note and say a big THANKS to everyone for their support! It does give me an added piece of mind to hear helpful words coming from you guys. Things are going pretty well, my Medicaid is in place any my step mom is talking about throwing me a baby shower. Just wanted to say thanks again, I'm kind of short on time right now...everybody take care and hang in there...
Laurel