| Subject: Re: my decision |
Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 07/19/06 7:58am
In reply to:
Jacqueline
's message, "Re: my decision" on 07/18/06 1:15pm
Jacqueline,
Let me try to add some thoughts no one else has mentioned.
The web site that has been recommended to you, afterabortion.com, is run by a woman who believes abortion should be kept legal. She doesn't talk about it on her site, because she doesn't want to get political issues involved, but I know her personally, so I know this for a fact.
You have a right to refuse abortion. Please look at this web site: abortionconcern.org People are violating your right to decide when they push you like they are doing.
Also, please read here: www.seghea.com/up.html and here: www.seghea.com/help.html.
If you go ahead with an abortion, you will probably lose Dom anyway. 90% of the unmarried relationships break up after abortion. If you want to keep him, abortion is the wrong method. It won't work.
Most men don't relate to pregnancy until they can see for themselves. They have to see an ultrasound, or feel movement, or hear a heartbeat, or see changes in the mother's body. That's why we have to give them a chance and be patient with them. Unfortunately, most abortions happen before these changes.
Please find out as much as you can about your baby and about abortion before you walk through the door. The more you know, the more satisfied you will be with whatever you decide. Don't try to numb your feelings. These are important guidance to what you should do for your own well-being. I think you are telling yourself that if you distance yourself from your baby, you can cope. Don't think it! It doesn't work that way.
Let me tell you a little about my own experience and that of other women I have talked to. I almost had an abortion. For months afterwards, I had horrible nightmares. One time, a man with a huge butcher knife was chasing me through the dark streets of the city, and I was very pregnant. I got away at the last minute. Another time, I was very pregnant, and I was trying to climb an interminable flight of stairs, and there was a bunch of men trying to gang-rape me, but at the last minute, I got away. Women have told me of nightmares where they hear babies crying, and they can't reach them. Stuff like that. Abortion has a huge emotional impact on a woman. You may be able to make yourself numb right now, but what about the long run? We know that women who have abortions can become suicidal (it has happened to friends of mine), or can turn to drinking or drugs. A woman is six times as likely to die a violent death in the year following abortion as one who carries to term. You see, I am SERIOUSLY worried about you, as are all the women here. And no, not everyone here is pro-life.
Before you go through the door, please make sure you get to see an ultrasound someplace. This is very important! One of the things I have learned is that women who think they're fine with it can suddenly be what I call "broadsided". This means that something in their life triggers a reaction. It can be very emotionally dangerous. One time I was debating abortion, and after the debate was finished, one of the women on the abortion choice side stood up and said, "I had an abortion, and it didn't bother me." And then she broke into tears! Please don't make yourself vulnerable to this!
Finally, please keep in mind that you may not be able to walk out if you actually go through the door and then change your mind. Sometimes force is used to hold a woman down and force her to go through with it. Abortionists will tell you that it's too late when it's not. So if you are going to change your mind, do it before you walk through the door, but even if you do walk through the door, and then you change your mind, you can still walk out. I am just warning you that the closer you get, the less likely they will LET you change your mind.
I will continue to pray for all three of you. Please pray also. This is very important, even if it's not something you normally do.
Yes, we will be here for you no matter what. But we hope you won't hurt yourself. We are very worried for you.
Hugs,
Pat
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