Re: repost -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: repost

Author:
Pat

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Date Posted: 08/ 8/06 9:58pm
In reply to: shelby 's message, "repost" on 08/ 8/06 9:47am

Shelby,

I am so sorry your dad has done this to you!

I urge you, along with Heather, to go to a crisis pregnancy agency. Like I said, you can get online counseling. Probably the best thing is for you to stay temporarily someplace else and have your baby, and then you can decide what to do at that point. I suspect a crisis pregnancy agency can arrange for someone to care for your horses, though it would be a highly unusual request. I personally know a woman who would probably help out, but she lives in Arizona, not Colorado, and she has empty horse stalls. So I am sure there are people out there.

I wouldn't be surprised if your parents gang up on you and try to force you to have an abortion. That's why it is SO IMPORTANT for you to get support now before you talk to them.

As for not having a future, of course you have one. As soon as your baby is born, you can go back to caring for your horses, and I know your baby will love them. Go ahead and plan for your future; do not be afraid. You can do it. There are people who will help you. Just set your mind to it. It will be a challenge, but you will be the stronger for it. I don't know why God gave you a child. We often don't know that sort of thing for a very long time. As for your friends, they're not really friends, if they would abandon you at a time like this. It is one way to find out who your true friends are. There are people who will stick by you. They are your true friends. And we will also be your friends. I wish I could come give you a hug, but a cyber hug will have to do. Maybe sometime we can meet each other. But for now, we will just have to be friends here.

Please continue to come here and talk to us. We care about you both.

Hugs,
Pat

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[> Subject: Re: repost

Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 08/ 8/06 10:03pm

Shelby,

I'm sorry for all you're going through right now. Has your father been abusing you for a long time or was this the first time? You certainly don't have to answer that, but I just want you to know that NOTHING you could have possibly done excuses what he did to you. Sometimes victims of incest feel responsible for the assault - as if they were somehow seductive in some manner and that caused the man to rape them. But he is your father: he should NEVER make sexual advances to you. It's HIS fault completely and absolutely. Don't ever forget that.

I totally agree with the advice that you contact a crisis pregnancy center (and I agree with Pat's advice that you look for a life-affirming one rather than one that performs abortions. Otherwise they will likely lean on you very heavily to have an abortion.)

I would look into open adoptions. I didn't realize how common they are until recently. It turns out that MOST adoptions these days are open ones! They can be open in varying degrees: maybe the mother simply knows the adoptive parents, or maybe the mother actually has regular visit with the child and his or her adoptive parents. It's amazing the gift that a birth mother gives to a family that has tried and tried to conceive but has been unsuccessful. It is such an act of triumph and sacrifice on the part of the birth mother - such an incredibly loving act. And it is truly appreciated in the deepest possible way by the adoptive parents.

I will say a prayer for you.

Sharon