Re: repost -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject: Re: repost

Author:
Sharon

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Date Posted: 08/ 8/06 10:03pm
In reply to: shelby 's message, "repost" on 08/ 8/06 9:47am

Shelby,

I'm sorry for all you're going through right now. Has your father been abusing you for a long time or was this the first time? You certainly don't have to answer that, but I just want you to know that NOTHING you could have possibly done excuses what he did to you. Sometimes victims of incest feel responsible for the assault - as if they were somehow seductive in some manner and that caused the man to rape them. But he is your father: he should NEVER make sexual advances to you. It's HIS fault completely and absolutely. Don't ever forget that.

I totally agree with the advice that you contact a crisis pregnancy center (and I agree with Pat's advice that you look for a life-affirming one rather than one that performs abortions. Otherwise they will likely lean on you very heavily to have an abortion.)

I would look into open adoptions. I didn't realize how common they are until recently. It turns out that MOST adoptions these days are open ones! They can be open in varying degrees: maybe the mother simply knows the adoptive parents, or maybe the mother actually has regular visit with the child and his or her adoptive parents. It's amazing the gift that a birth mother gives to a family that has tried and tried to conceive but has been unsuccessful. It is such an act of triumph and sacrifice on the part of the birth mother - such an incredibly loving act. And it is truly appreciated in the deepest possible way by the adoptive parents.

I will say a prayer for you.

Sharon

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[> Subject: Re: repost

Author:
Melanie
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Date Posted: 08/ 9/06 2:34am

Hi Shelby,

I am very sorry that you are having to go through so much.

I agree with the others about seeking outside help. I wish I could tell you that none of your fears will come to pass.
However, if it happened once and you do nothing, it could happen again. Sometimes the pregnancy stops it for a while...sometimes. But if you stay in the same situation it won't be a good thing either, will it?

I can assure you that God is NOT punishing you. Maybe he allowed this so the awful thing that was done would come to light. Would it be better to let it go on for years? Heaven forbid!!!

I hope and pray there will still be a way for you to work with horses. It is not out of the realm of possibility, but you need some help now.

I haven't checked yet to see if all of these numbers are current, but here are two listings for CO. If you want me to contact any of them ahead for you, just let me know. If there is a maternity home that takes minors, then that might also be an option for you.
http://www.rmfc.org/cpclist.html
http://www.lifecall.org/cpc/co.html

Hang in there and don't give up. If you didn't have the baby, then it doesn't mean things will go back to normal anyway, so don't go it alone.

If I can do anything to help, I will.

--Melanie