Re: Just found out...now what?? -- Unplanned Pregnancy Advice Board

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Subject:

Re: Just found out...now what??

Author:
Lori

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Date Posted: 07/31/09 12:40pm
In reply to: Kristen 's message, "Re: Just found out...now what??" on 07/28/09 3:49pm

Kristen,

I totally agree with what Tracey has said. Change can be good but change is always kind of scary because your moving forward without seeing exactly what is going on. We as humans love to be prepared for everything and see what's going to happen next before we decide to walk forward. Unfortunately, life demands us at times to walk forward without knowing.
You said that in your heart you know that you want to keep the baby but your mind is telling you something else. I understand you completely. I myself was debating with my heart and mind when I experienced my unplanned pregnancy. I knew though that whatever I chose that I needed my heart and mind to agree. I don't like change either and its a hard process because your not certain of what will come next. However, the reward for change is all worth the uncertainty.
No matter what you decide to do you will have uncertainty. The only thing you can do is investigate your options and go with the choice that you have total peace about. For me to have peace about any decision my heart and mind have to agree. If I don't want to have any regrets I know that I need to make an informed decision.
You are a mom no matter what choice you choose to make and your heart knows that. Your mind is kind of a battlfield right now because your fighting your heart on what choice you should make. Your logical mind is looking at your current circumstances and wondering how you could be a mom right now. But, your already a mom because your pregnant.
One thing I have learned in life is that circumstances always change. If we make a decision based on our current circumstances we are setting ourselves up for regret. We don't know what the next year may bring. This is why it is so important to make an informed decision because when you investigate all of your options and make a choice that you can live with for the rest of your life your less likely to regret your decision.
As far as the child's father is concerned. I see guys like this all the time here on the board. Some of the guys don't come around but they are not the majority by far. He may ultimately decide to be the father he has destined himself to be. But, I wouldn't base my decision on this alone because there are many resources out there to help you and he would be responsible for child support regardless of the situation.
I know your concern is the well being of your child and your child's future. We all want what is best for our children. However, the world has set us up to think that we need to have a lot of materialistic things in order to have a baby. The truth is that a baby needs health insurance, shelter, food, diapers, clothes and most importantly love. All of these things you can provide for them. There are many resources available that can help you with free health coverage, food, clothes and diapers. If your interested in any of these resources let me know and I can send you a list with phone numbers.
If you contact your local pregnancy center they offer free counseling, and resouces. To find your local center copy and paste this address: http://www.pregnancycenters.org/advantage.asp .
Your in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated and remember no matter what you choose we are here for you.

With Love,
Lori

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