23-02-02 Sat -- 我倆的小小空間

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Subject: 23-02-02 Sat

Author:
Brandy

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Date Posted: 05:20:58 02/23/02 Sat

你唔喺度,呢個已經係事實,我唔能夠唔接受...但係,真係好唔願意接受,同你只係得嗰2個月---雖然真係只係100日都唔夠,但係我真係習慣咗,尤其係星期六,每當我可以放工嘅時候,我真係好開心㗎,因為我可以真正唔需要再面對工作壓力,可以真真正正有得休息...

而家嘅我,就只係得瞓覺,個人真係好攰好攰,心理同生理都一樣,好唔想面對人群,因為覺得冇需要,同埋呢一刻仲係好想收埋自己先,或者其他人唔覺我有乜異樣,我都以為自己好番晒,唔知呢...呢一刻乜都唔想諗,唔好自尋煩惱,個腦---真係可能仲係唔見咗....跟住你仲好...個腦好實,乜都諗唔到,由得佢囉,因為即使真係迫自己去諗,都係一樣,諗埋一啲冇答案既問題,仲諗黎做乜?

尋晚,我同咗一位朋友仔吃飯,席間我領會良多,佢畀咗好多意見我,或者佢真係講得啱,我只係喺度自尋煩惱,我只係喺度發白日夢,諗埋啲唔能夠以事實根據,證實到,或者解決到既問題,既然證實唔到既嘢,諗黎都冇用,是的,即使我千遍萬遍想着你在哪,在做什麼,我都唔能夠知道事實既真相...我還想知道很多很多,可惜,再沒人能給我一個答案...我唔能夠真正和你對話,唔能夠再真正咁擁有你....各樣各樣,我都欠,我都不能夠...煩着何用?

不過,我仍會keep住寫我既一切一切,留低佢,我唔排除你會睇得到---都係嗰句,我唔能夠證實,憂都冇用...我係出於自願,係真係我既想法,見到嘅嘢,諗到嘅嘢。或者我最後只係能夠做到,只係畀到自己睇,點都好,都冇所謂,我其實係想畀你知道,我係點諗...

點都好啦,有冇人知道都好,我都會寫落去,或者,你會見證到我成長...

既是事實,逃避無用
即使難以接受,仍要面對
這就是無奈

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