Stupid Product Labels -- Jokes

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Date Posted: Fri, Jun 23 2000, 22:56:18
Author: steve
Subject: Stupid Product Labels

Stupid Product Labels
--------------------
1. On a blanket from Taiwan
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

3. On a Taiwanese shampoo
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

5. On a New Zealand insect spray
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO
ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful
haemorrhoids
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE
PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE
INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
OPEN OTHER END.

9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

10. On a Sears hairdryer
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

11. On a bag of Fritos
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY.
DETAILS INSIDE.

12. On a bar of Dial soap
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom of the box)
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.

14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

15. On a Korean kitchen knife
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.

17. On a Japanese food processor
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.

18. On Sainsbury's peanuts
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.

19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.

20. On a Swedish chainsaw
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.

21. On a child's superman costume
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.

22. On some frozen dinners
SERVING SUGGESTION DEFROST.

23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box
FITS ONE HEAD.

24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.

25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.

26. On Nytol sleep aid
WARNING MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.

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Replies:

Re: Stupid Product Labels -- carri, Thu, May 31 2001, 18:07:45
- Re: Stupid Product Labels -- steve, Thu, May 31 2001, 21:34:19
  - Re: Stupid Product Labels -- LOL, Sun, Jun 03 2001, 14:01:40
    - Re: Stupid Product Labels -- steve, Sun, Jun 03 2001, 23:30:50
      - Re: Stupid Product Labels -- yeah, Sat, Jun 09 2001, 4:09:08

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