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Date Posted: 20:32:18 05/10/02 Fri
Author: Julian Emberson
Subject: and he was in love with someone else.
In reply to: Celeste Riceburg 's message, "Re: ...I Fell In Love With A Beautiful Stranger..." on 15:12:05 05/10/02 Fri

"Don't blame me for not loving you, Celeste. Don't fucking dare tell me that I caused you your pain because I'm not willing to break down some invisible wall you think I've been hiding behind. The only chance you really have with me is if I loved you back, which I don't, and wouldn't even if I "got with you." Not everything is as simple as giving it a chance. I gave you a chance at being my friend but you fell for me. I didn't make you do anything. Think about it," He said, brow knitting darkly, angered at her inane accusations. "Why would I make you do something that I didn't want to happen? That perhaps has already happened, but someone doesn't know. I don't bury myself in books because I love it. I bury myself in books because no one else can get me as interested. Nobody ever gets what they deserve! You don't deserve some pain you get from your unrequited love for me, and I don't deserve to be annoyed at you. But that is where we are. I am not the person for you. The person for you would return your feelings. Would be willing to give you a chance because he has a scrap of passionate attraction to you. But I don't, Celeste. I never have. You're not listening to me anymore, Celeste. You're listening to some blind faith that if I gave you a chance, we would be happy. But I won't. I don't love you. Happiness in love is a reciprocal thing. We don't have that." He paused, putting a lengthy silence between them before concisely laughing. "And what would we do if we were together, Celeste? I'm a selfish prick, which I'm not ashamed to admit. Our theories on life are completely different. We're not even opposites, we're just too different to work. Think about it. I hurt the people you're friends with. My sanctuary is a maze to you. My mind is a blank paper to you. Your intentions amaze me. We've been good friends, Celeste, but hardly enough for you to know who I am and what I like, as is my relationship with yourself. I need an equal and that's something I don't want you to become." He looked at her, regret clouding his irises.

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