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>I lost my baby girl on June 12 1998 it was my very >first funeral never dreamed it would be my child. I >really miss her and feel i should be further along in >my greif now but it feels like i just lost her >yesterday i need a friend someone that has been >through the same thing i have it feels like no one >understands me and when i try to talk about her they >just change the subject. I have done tried to >overdose cause i want to be with her it's been 2 years >since i done that no thoughts on it as of right now. >She will be 8 yrs old this year and i have had another >baby since Samantha. It's hard to raise another baby >and give that baby the love she needs when you're >still grieving over the baby in heaven. I even find >myself calling Brittney by Samantha's name it's it >really hurts me. My daughter now says that she plays >with Samantha when she doesn't have anyone to play >with. Brittney has her own little personallity. She >was born premature weighing opposite of Samantha (Sam >was 5 lbs 4ozs and Britt was 4 lbs 5 ozs) When she >first said mama(first word) i cried cause i never got >to hear Samantha say it. I feel sometimes that Britt >has some of Sam in her. Me and my husband just bought >a house and we had an extra room so he let me make it >Samantha's room it's helps sometimes i just sit there >like quiet time. Britt one day was in that room and i >heard her crying i went into the room and she was >looking through Samantha's box that i have with her >stuff in it and she had Samantha's birthstone ring on >her finger holding it. That's why i feel like she is >some part of Samantha. My Britt has red hair(fire red >and temper too) and baby blue eyes i said the whole >time i was pregnant with her i hope she has blue >eyes(got my wish on that too). Britt even told me >that Sam had blue eyes like her(i never saw Sam's >eyes). I know that i shouldn't be comparing Britt to >Sam but it's just like something is there I don't know >what it is. So if anyone can help please email me. I >want to stop comparing. Tammy
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