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Date Posted: 23:03:05 03/22/05 Tue
Author: Lesley
Subject: Re: I LOST MY 5 MONTH OLD SON
In reply to: REGINA PAGE 's message, "I LOST MY 5 MONTH OLD SON" on 22:20:33 08/17/04 Tue

Regina,
Of couse your still having a hard time. Grieving IS hard.
We lost our son July 20th 2003 and there are still days that are harder than othes.

Things that helped me?
I gave my self permission to "fall apart" for a little while - I went to my brothers for a weekend so I could really do a good job at it too.
I Learned the phrase "there is a reason they call it griefwork" and took that phrase to heart.
I made sure that none of my hand creams or soaps were "baby sented"
I yelled, kicked, cursed, and threw things (in my garage)
I got, and admitted, that I was angry with God - I figure if he is there he's got big shoulders and he can take it
I gathered up every thing of his that was special to me and put it in a box. And nobody was allowed to touch the box but me, or occasionally my husband. - I kept that box on a table in full veiw in the living room for 11 months, 3weeks and 2days.
I joined a support group
I gave myself permission to tell people how I REALLY felt when they would ask how I was, - or if they said something hurt-full.
I got my priest to give me advanced notice of baptisims so I wouldn't get blind sided.
When my doctor didn't get that I was having a really hard time and I wanted help, I got a second opinion, and got the help.

Try to remember that your son was part of your life for over a year, not just those precious 5 months. Greiving is hard. try not to expect it to be over by a specific date. Recognise that you may have a long ways go and remember, you made it through that first awful day with out him, nothing was harder that that for me. No you won't ever get over it. YES it does get easier

I keep us, all of us who have to greive our children, in my prayers.

>I LOSE OUR 5 MONTH OLD SON 4 MONTHS AGO.HE WAS SO
>SMART AND BUSY FOR HIS AGE.I AM STILL HAVING A HARD
>TIME GETTING TRU THE DAY WITHOUT CRYING.I HAVE MADE A
>GARDEN IN HIS NAME.AND STARTED COLECTING ANYTHING WITH
>ANGELS.I WOULD REALLY BE GLAD TO HEAR FROM ANYONE THAT
>IS GOING THOUGH WHAT I AM

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