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Date Posted: 08:29:46 01/10/04 Sat
Author: Leslie
Subject: Re: To Spank Or Not To Spank? (Your child that is) That Is The Question.
In reply to: Lafaux 's message, "To Spank Or Not To Spank? (Your child that is) That Is The Question." on 04:48:54 06/26/02 Wed

These study's tend to say "not all children..." when they refer to the effects of spanking children. I think that the issue should not be so much the spanking, as it is the parents. I think we take so much away from "Natural Parenting" now, and mix in so much "tolerence" and "no-physical contact" that our parenting skills are actually getting worse! More and more kids now are rebelling, and doing really stupid things starting at really young ages. There is no more "respect" for your elders. I think the major cause of this is the lack of fear of your parents. Why the lack of fear? Because if you limit your dicipline to time-outs and groundings, you're not really doing much at all. You can't force a kid to be quiet without taping their mouth shut. A child may not want their toy to be taken away, but it doesn't make much of a difference because they'll get it back. These forms of dicipline are effective for some things, but are also very vunerable to manipulation (sometimes the child's favorite game!). Spanking, in my book, is a necessity. I see the effects on my peers who have NOT been spanked compared to my behaviour. I am 17, and was spanked when neccisary when I was a younger child. That coupled with great communication between my mother keeps me respectful and loving toward her and others even now. Imagine never having to ground your teen-ager, or worry about where they are or if they are lying. Sure, they'll still be teenagers and argue with you when they get mad enough, their kids. But there is a huge difference between minor disobediance and emotional shows, and lying, blatant disrespect and harmfull disobediance. I can not believe that spanking done correctly is the cause of violent acting out or deep emotional problems. I believe just the opposite. That the violence and other behavioural issues are the product of LACK in dicipline, communication, and love. Parents just don't know how to parent anymore, and as a result, children have no respect, are hurting others, lack morals and communication skills, end up ignorant and emotionally unstable. They are a product of tolerance and no physical contact. Also, comparing the hitting of children to animals and other adults is invalid, because the creatures in question are very much so different from eachother, and the reasons and outcome of hitting a dog or a man on the street would be very different from hitting a child. It's not the hitting that should be in question, it is the heart attitude and reason behind it that matters.

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