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Subject: COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM Author: Trevor/TJ [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 00:00:35 11/08/03 Sat 1. Describe your problem._______________________________________________ 2. Now, describe the problem accurately. _____________________________________________ 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem. _______________________________________ 4. Problem Severity: A. Minor____ B. Minor____ C. Minor____ D. Trivial_____ 5. Nature of the problem: A. Locked up _____ B. Frozen_____ C. Hung_____ D. Shot_____ 6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes____ No____ 7. Is it turned on? Yes____ No____ 8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes____ No____ 9. Have you made it worse? Yes____ 10. Have you read the manual? Yes____ No____ 11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes____ No____ 11a. Have you restarted your computer? Yes_____ No_____ 11b. Did you answer question 11a correctly? Yes____ No_____ 12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No____ 13. Do you think you understood it? Yes____ No____ 14. If "Yes" then why can't you fix the problem yourself?_________________________________ 15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? ______________________________________ 16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred? _____________________ 17. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in. ___________________________________________ 18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes____ No____ 19. How does this problem make you feel? __________________________________________ 20. Tell me about your childhood. ________________________________________________ 21. Do you have any independent witnesses to this problem? Yes____ No_____ 22. Can't you do something else instead of bothering me? Yes_____ ------- The longer you've worked with people using computers, the funnier this is. It's been about 20 years for me now. I also know that "customer service" isn't these days and "technical support" is sometimes neither technical nor supportive. Well, just the other day I spent 1/2 hour on the phone helping someone log onto their email. Our user names are first initial plus last name at my company, but usually the passwords are the problem - I wrote a little program to randomly create them, stuff like 4-dog-wrench. She actually mispelled her last name repeatedly and talked to her on-site supervisor and several others before the problem was phoned in to me. A collegue had this conversation a few years ago: -What's seems to be the trouble? My computer isn't working. -What is the problem? I don't see the words when I type. -What program are you using? I'm not sure. -Well, can you read me the error message? There is no error. -Does the mouse move? No. -What DO you see on the screen? Nothing. Well, it turns out the whole computer was turned off. Sometimes things that fail repeatedly won't fail when the technician is watching. I had two of those "well then, nice to talk to you anyway" calls yesterday and I wasn't even technically watching since they were calling from the other side of the country. I've experienced this many times as both the technician and the user. I make plenty of dumb mistakes myself, so I can't laugh too hard at others and try to laugh a little at myself. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]