A Lexicon Lesson for newly arrived Yankees -- Lafcadio T. Lion and Strawberry Sage and Friends Fun Forum

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Date Posted: 14:17:41 01/24/02 Thu
Author: S. B. Turtlemaker via LAF
Author Host/IP: qam1b-sif-86.monroeaccess.net / 12.27.214.87
Subject: A Lexicon Lesson for newly arrived Yankees

While speaking with Brother S. B. Turtlemaker recently, I mentioned that sister Sage has relocated to the deep south. Now, old S. B. is a "right kindly feller," as he likes to call "hisself" (as he says it) and wanted to do his part to help her make the transition to genteel southern living and words that "mean something when you puts y'er mouth around 'em."

He sent along this primer in southern American English as spoken in the environs of Possum Flop, Tennessee and other places throughout the south in hopes of assisting Secretary Sage in communicating fully with some of the folks from his area who have migrated even further south, yet even closer to the big city lights, "like they got in them real big cities... ya know, like they got oveh ta Cow On a Flat Rock, Alabama."

Hah Tu Spek Hill C'untry American:

BARD - verb: Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun A highly questionable southern state just north of Florida, south of Tennessee and west of Aladamnedbama.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, an' I aint herd from him in munts."

ALL - noun A petroleum-based lubricant. (Note: in south Louisiana, see Earl)
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun A supervisor.
Usage: "Iffen you don't stop a'reading these heah Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR - noun A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - verb To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

RATS - noun Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southern boys is willing to fight for our rats."

FARN - adjective Not local.
Usage: "I cudn't unnerstand a wurd he sed. That old boy must be from some farn country."

JU-HERE - colloquialism a question.
Usage: "Ju-here that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson toured the University of Aladamnedbama t'udder day?"

HAZE - contraction
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah. Haze ignert as a stump fulla creek water."

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

GUMMIT - noun An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great! ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"

ANNEM - contraction: conjunction and pronoun
Usage: "House y'er Mama annem?"

There's lots more, but these will get you through most busy days in the south, according to S. B. Welcome south to all y'all transplants.

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