FINE! FINE! FINE! -- Lafcadio T. Lion and Strawberry Sage and Friends Fun Forum

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Date Posted: 18:41:52 03/11/02 Mon
Author: Sage
Author Host/IP: max1-19.monroeaccess.net / 12.21.138.28
Subject: FINE! FINE! FINE!

Ann Landers
Published on 3/11/2002

Dear Ann Landers: I just read the letter from "Illinois Son," whose parents threw away his "perfectly fine" underwear. You suggested he do his own laundry and said his parents' behavior was strange. I think you may have overlooked something in your response.

I'll bet that underwear was less perfect than he told you. Men seem to think their underwear is fine as long as it doesn't fall apart. If my mother found a hole in one of my father's undershirts, she would put her finger in the hole and rip the garment in half. She said it was the only way to be certain those undershirts were never worn again. Throwing them in the trash didn't work. I have tossed out my husband's ragged underwear, only to have him retrieve it from the garbage and put it back in the dresser drawer.

Men never understand that something can no longer be fit to wear. My husband howled when I destroyed his beloved undershirt that had stains under the arms and holes in the back. He said there was nothing wrong with it. I suspect "Illinois Son's" underwear was beyond repair, but he needed someone to point it out to him.

-- Miami, Fla.

Dear Miami: You may be right. I had a flurry of mail about that son and his underwear, and most readers agreed with you. Here's more:

Dear Ann: You recently printed a letter from "Illinois Son," whose elderly parents threw out his underwear. You told him to keep an eye on his parents because such behavior might indicate dementia.

My grandmother did many peculiar things. She hid food all over the house, wore almost 20 pounds of jewelry, and folded and put away soiled clothes. We knew her behavior was odd, but thought it was nothing to worry about. We humored her. Then she entered the next stage, which included paranoia, threats, hysteria and calling the neighbors to claim her family was starving her. She had a complete personality overhaul of frightening proportions.

You were wise to suggest "Illinois Son" watch his parents more closely. There is medication available that may hold off the onset of Alzheimer's disease, if taken early enough. Believe me, it's worth it.

-- Grandson in Canton, Mich.

Dear Grandson: Thank you for the support. Here is a letter that is more representative of the mail I've been getting:

Dear Ann: What on earth were you thinking, Ann? There is no reason a 42-year-old, unemployed man should be living with his parents, expecting his 80-something-year-old mother do his laundry. He should be doing HER laundry. In fact, he should be doing all the laundry, all the shopping, all the cooking, all the cleaning and all the yardwork. It's the least he can do.

I suspect his parents tossed out the underwear as a hint for him to find other accommodations. They should be having a nice vacation someplace warm instead of supporting him and taking care of his every need.

-- Flabbergasted in Chapel Hill, N.C.

Dear Flabbergasted: You are right. There is no reason a 42-year-old man should not be doing his own laundry and helping out around the house. Nevertheless, parents should not be throwing out their adult child's belongings without his knowledge or permission. Such controlling behavior suggests there are other problems that need attention.

Gem of the Day (credit Eleanor Roosevelt): Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart (and your holy underwear in your drawer).

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