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Date Posted: 02:22:49 05/16/02 Thu
Author: Jana~
Subject: Re: Marta kauffman's interview
In reply to: Grace 's message, "Re: Marta kauffman's interview" on 01:14:03 05/16/02 Thu

Interesting. But see, for some, me included, that isn't always an option.

For me, I have crippling shyness, and have ever since I can remember existing, which has always made it hard to make friends. I was able to make a few friends in high school, but a very few. And as you get older you usually lose track of them.

After my accident... I have no friends. Part of it is due to my shyness, part of it is due to the fact that most (not all, but most) people have issues with disabled people. A lot of people don't know how to treat someone in a wheelchair, and rather than ask, they avoid.

'Friends' premiered shortly before my accident. After my accident, I was confined to a bed, eating out of a tube in my arm and using the 'facility' by way of catheter and bed pan. I had no life beyond my room with my radio, and my television set. These people ('friends') got me through some tough times. I know they're not real, and I know they're not my friends, but they were as close to real and as close to friends as one could get while I was in the situation I was in.

Now, I find a new set of problems... disability goes beyond the initial accident. I am now disabled, unable to do the simplest of things many people take for granted. I struggle daily to raise my kids, cope with never-ending mind-altering pain, and battle low self esteem because of what the accident made me. I have found that it's not just my outward appearance that causes people to avoid me, but it's also my 'inward' appearance.

It's exhausting living day to day with chronic pain, and because of this, I'm not always cheery. For many reasons, I'm often times depressed. People don't look for this in a friend. People want fun, cheery, able-bodied people as friends... not someone like me. The few people who have made some attempt at befriending me... gone. I never hear from them. I have a few online friends, but it's easy to manipulate mood in text form. It's harder in person. Sure, I could say "Oh, I'm fine! Great! Never better!" but people would be able to see right past that in person.

I've even managed to lose a few online friends, cause they said I could talk to them about whatever was bothering me, but when I did, it became too much for them. I even met an online friend IRL... gone. He has come to utterly and completely avoid me.

I have come to a point in my life where I know, if I make a friend, I will eventually lose that friend, so it's better not to even try. To become attached, only to have them leave.

So, you see, some of us are not blessed with the ability to: "…explore having a life beyond 'Friends'." OR "…make some real friends in the real world." Some of us have little to no life, through no fault of our own, who just try to find a shred of happiness wherever they can. For me, I find an ounce of happiness and a moment from my despair while watching 'Friends'… something that I cannot find from any other source at this time in my life.

There are many reasons why people are fans of this show, and why some fans become 'obsessed'. What is stated above is my reason.

DISCLAIMER:

This post is NOT directed at any of the previous posters, but directed (in general) at anyone who agrees with the words quoted from Marta Kauffman in the TV guide. You're entitled to your opinion, I'm entitled to mine.

--Sorry if I sound bitter, the pain I am in today is beyond extreme, which is why I am up at 2 in the morning... because I can't sleep... and this quote just hit me wrong. I apologize if I upset anyone with my words.

MTLBYAKY

Jana~


>I read this in a tv guide editorial. I'm not sure,
>but it may be what Priya was referring to.
>
>Kauffman: "That's the flip side of things."
>Reffering to internet rumors about Rachel dying in
>childbirth. "We're grateful people love the show, but
>sometimes I, hmm, how can I put this nicely? - I wish
>some people would explore having a life beyond
>*Friends.* You know, make some real friends in the
>real world."

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