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Faeirex and Legolas
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Date Posted: 22:30:59 07/24/02 Wed
Legolas followed her from the room and grabbed her arm, wrenching her around with a strength that surprised even himself.
“What do you mean, you won’t fight?”
“Exactly what I said.” She told him in the calmest voice she could muster. Her voice was cold. “This isn’t my battle.”
“This is your battle. You are the one who brought the news, and you are the one who says we must fight. Why shouldn’t you stay and fight with us?”
She bit her lip, still hoping that she could leave before she hurt him further. “I have done enough killing. No more shall die under my sword.”
Legolas looked at her, puzzled. “Why have the Valar blessed you with this talent if you are not to use it? Sauron is the enemy of all the free peoples. Would you have us lie before him in chains?
“Not for all the world, if it was in my power. But it isn’t, not here.”
The threat of tears kept her voice low yet dimmed none of its intensity. When she looked at him, a spark of hope leapt into her eyes. “But if you come with me, come away from here, you will be safe. I can protect you from him.”
The puzzlement switched fast to a mixture of disbelief and outrage. Did she really think that he would accept her protection, when it extended only to him?
“And leave all my friends and all the people I care about behind? You would have me run from Sauron like a coward. I won’t. When he comes I will be here, standing beside Aragorn. Please, please say you will be there too. We need you.”
Faeirex shook her head as the first pearly tears slid down her cheeks. “You don’t need me. You don’t understand. You don’t need me, and you shouldn’t want me either. Elessar wouldn’t, if he knew the truth.
I can do many things, but this isn’t one of them. I can’t look him in the eye and be treated by him as a friend. I can’t stand beside him and hold my head up high. I can lie to him, but I can’t lie to my heart. And my heart knows I don’t have the right to even look upon his face, let alone fight with him as a comrade.”
Legolas stepped back a pace, scrutinising her carefully. What she had said worried him more than he was prepared to let on. Perhaps it was the distress she was clearly in. Something weighted her mind. Probably the same thing that had been worrying her for months, never confiding in anybody. He desparately wanted to reassure her that things would be okay, but deep inside he wasn’t sure that they would. He wasn’t even sure if he would even still be alive in a few weeks time.
Raising one hand to her face, he wiped away her tears, coming to a decision.
“What have you done?” he asked gently, “I promise you, it doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I’ll forgive you, and so will Aragorn, whatever it is. This is far more important than anything in your past.”
“Why would you do that? Instant forgiveness, no questions asked.”
He opened his mouth to respond, to tell her that he trusted her, or that he knew she regretted whatever she’d done, but for some reason he didn’t. For some reason, his mouth chose to listen to his heart rather than his mind, and tell her the truth. Perhaps it, unlike the rest of him, had realised that this could be his last chance, that Lómódë could leave now, and might never come back.
“Because I love you. Because I’d give anything to make you happy. Isn’t that enough?”
She backed away, aghast. Shocked at his words, yes, but even more shocked that they weren’t entirely unwelcome to her. For a moment, she could see a future where she could be happy, where she could have love.
The image first blurred, then dissolved before her eyes, to be replaced by cold, hard truth. She couldn’t have him, and by saying he loved her, he had just condemned himself to death.
“You can’t love me!” she stammered. Please don’t love me, please don’t love me.
“I can. I do.”
“Fine then. Don’t love me. You don’t know anything about me!”
“Then tell me something.”
She stopped, seeing her choice clear before her. She had hoped to keep her past a secret, but that had changed now. Now his life hung in the balance, and if she could not persuade him to turn from her, he would die. Just how much was she willing to lose to prevent that?
Everything.
Hesitantly, she asked him “If I told you something terrible, something more also than you could possibly imagine, what then? Would that convince you that you’re wrong?”
“Try me.” His voice was grim and urgent and both his hands grasped her arms, forcing her to face him.
“What if I were to tell you that I had brought about the deaths of Gil-Galad and Elendil? That I brought them to Mordor knowing that they would die.
And that after that, I plunged all the West into Darkness. I aided the Ring on its course of destruction.”
“I don’t understand. What do you mean?”
He didn’t want to believe what she was saying, yet could not refuse to hear the truth in her voice. She didn’t answer, and he shook her, shouting.
“What are you telling me, Lómódë?”
Faeirex began to cry again, realising what she had done. She had just severed all links with these people. Once she left here now, she could never return. Voice a mere whisper on the wind, she answered.
“I killed Isildur.”
She tried to pull away from his grip, but it didn’t relax. She looked at him, and saw only the disbelief in his eyes, two blue stars in a face that was as immobile as stone. Hurting from a hundred agonies, a hundred stabs to her heart, she lost control.
“Listen to me, Legolas!” she screamed, the tears running down her face. “I killed him! I killed them all!”
Wrenching her arms free, she fled, sobbing desparately.
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