|Subject: confessions (last part 8 from top)
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Date Posted: 15:34:50 06/05/03 Thu
Lily ran further and further into the thick of the trees, like she had never ran before. Her throat and nose were clogged up from all her crying, yet the tears wouldn’t stop, not yet. The pain was too great. The wound that Rob had helped heal unknowingly had once again opened wide and she couldn’t stop the pain of all of her past memories coming back to haunt her. Every leaf that brushed her, every twig that got caught in her hair heightened the feel of the nightmare. She had let it happen again, this was too familiar. It wouldn’t go away, everything around her were reminders of something that happened long ago that she wanted to forget, so badly. The pain of that time had placed her into a trance for months, no one knew the real reason why, they thought they did and made their own assumptions yet she hadn’t told anyone but her mother, and even then had to make her mum promise not to say anything. She knew deep down at the time that her mum would never do that but the need for silence had overcome all logic. She couldn’t let it get out. Everyone was so sympathetic thinking it hurt her, but it didn’t hurt, she didn’t grieve. In some way she was glad and relieved, yes that is what she felt – relief.
Finally Lily stopped, she had come to a clearing in the middle of a circle of tall trees blocking out most of the bright sun above. It was almost noon, she must have been running for hours it was only just morning when Bry had ran up to the house to tell her the news.
Lily dropped to the ground and put her hands over her eyes. She would never trust a man again. She’d learnt that before, why didn’t she listen to her instinct? Her mum had told her not to let one bad experience cloud her judgement of every man but that was so difficult and she had found it hard. Then she had finally started to trust again but it was snatched from her once more. The pain was unbearable how can she have been hurt so badly twice? It wasn’t fair, but it would never happen again. “Never” she shouted vehemently.
“Never what?” a voice behind her said quietly.
Squealing Lily spun around to see Rob standing at the edge of the clearing, he wore an expression of utter misery and his eyes pleaded with her to understand, to forgive
“Leave me alone,” she whispered without feeling. “I don’t want to talk to you, why are you here?”
“I love you,” he said simply. She gasped in shock and opened her mouth to deny it. “No, before you say anything, or try to tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about listen to me. I love you, I think I have done since I danced with you at the party, I just didn’t realise it. I wasn’t myself when I made that bet and I didn’t know you before it either. It may have started out as one but it soon changed when I got to know you better. I’ve never felt this about anyone before and now I have found you I don’t plan on losing you over something so small. I can’t tell you how sorry I am over the pain I have caused you and all I want to do is erase it and see your smile again. Your smile brightens up my day, Lily it haunts me. You haunt me – always in my thoughts, invading my sleep. Your image is ever with me – day and night. I can’t live without you. Please don’t ask me to. So, I am going to ask you this,” he paused looking over to her and gazing into her eyes. “Will you marry me?”
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