Ok...have you seen this? TOO funny! -- RealityFans

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Date Posted: 15:52:40 05/27/02 Mon
Author: SocialGirl
Subject: Ok...have you seen this? TOO funny!

1) "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone)

2) Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
(Courtney Cox Monica on "Friends")

3) "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." (Barbara Bush)-(Former US First Lady)

4) ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. (Robin Williams)

5) Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. (Billy Crystal)

6) "On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars."
(Bruce Willis)-(On the difference between men and women)

7) "And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." (George Burns)

8) "There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."
(Henry Kissenger)-(former US Secretary of State)

9) "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." (Steve Jobs)-(Founder: Apple Computers)

10) "My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker."
(Dan Rather)-(News anchorman)

11) "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,'Thyroid problem?" (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

12) "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
(Tiger Woods)

13) "I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."
(Axel Rose)-(Guns'n'Roses)

14) "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." (Jack Nicholson)

15) According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men are just grateful. (Robert De Niro)

16) In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the WonderBra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention
to women's breasts? (Hugh Grant)

17) There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
(Dustin Hoffman)

18) There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, "I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." (Jerry Seinfield)

19) AND THE NUMBER ONE QUOTE IS ,,,,,

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. (Robin Williams)

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Replies:

Commented on a couple of these elsewhere, but I see two more. -- Cari, 17:09:57 05/27/02 Mon
- hehee Yeah, saw that...thanks :) (NT) -- SocialGirl, 17:59:19 05/27/02 Mon
  - Those are pretty cute Social Girl, Thanks for the post. Sending around now. -- zazoo, 21:15:41 05/27/02 Mon