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Date Posted: 05:48:10 07/03/02 Wed
Author: Marie
Subject: Re: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Episodes 01 - 05
In reply to: :o) 's message, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Episodes 01 - 05" on 02:09:17 04/14/02 Sun

I just read "Stone Cold," and really enjoyed it. I liked that you focused on character interactions--that's what is most compelling about BtVS, not the monster of the week. And those interactions were very true to the characters. I could completely visualize Buffy, Willow, etc. as I read. I also liked how Anya's necklace was ripped off, thus putting her in danger. It added extra tension to the scene.

My criticisms are minor:
1) I found the song lyrics to be distracting. The lyrics interrupted the flow of the dialogue. I would suggest either writing all the lyrics as the song is introduced, writing them only for non-dialogue scenes, or not writing the lyrics at all.

2) Grammar. It's = it is. Its = possessive. As in, "the vampire clutched its chest." For all other words, 's = possessive, regular s = plural. Incorrect usage is distracting and sometimes confusing. And wouldn't you prefer the reader to focus her full attention on the wonderful story? :)

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