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Date Posted: 01:24:29 09/20/02 Fri
Author: Chiad - protector of rare and endangered species
Subject: *SPECIAL*

It was brought to my attention tonight at dinner that the cafeteria in my dorm is probably breaking many laws (as well as public health codes, but that's a different matter) by serving a rare and endangered creature as the special for the dinner meat.
The sign for the menu said: "Special: Roast pork lion, with mushroom mustard gravy."
(We'll deal with the gravy in a moment)
That's right folks. The caf in my dorm is serving a meat so rare that almost no one has ever heard of it. It took much research (1) and an in-depth discussion (2) to come to the conclusion that SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!
No longer shall we stand by and watch as rare species are murdered and then used as biological weapons!
No longer shall we stand for the destruction of a species just so that a few students can be sick several hours after eating!
As such, an intensive research project has been launched to investigate this previously unheard-of species.
The results? It was determined that the creature, now called the Pig Lion, is an animal that looks like the forequarters of a pig were merged with the hindquarters of a lion. In addition, it has a bushy mane and sounds like a lion with a severe chest cold. The only known habitat of this rare creature is in hidden rain forests deep in the heart of Northern Alberta. Unfortunately, due to the expansion of spaghetti farms into these forests, the habitat of the Pig Lion is rapidly shrinking.
There are some ways you can help us save this rare and beautiful species. For starters you can boycott your cafeteria.
That's right! Refuse to eat any more of the meat that is taken from these wonderful animals! Also, we will be holding a protest rally where we will be marching down the center of the North Saskatchewan River in an attempt to raise media awareness of this horrible tragedy. Please join us on our march, which will take place on the 31st of February in the coming year.
Thank you for your attention and please consider the repercussions on the environment if this rare species is allowed to become extinct due to mismanagement.








(1) (about 30 seconds)
(2) (we fell over laughing)



Ah yes…I believe I mentioned something about gravy. A person has to wonder… “mushroom mustard gravy”???? I’m not even going to ASK!

No! Honestly! That was the menu for dinner tonight!
*Chiad runs off to chug a bottle of Pepto-bismol*

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