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Date Posted: 23:17:32 08/11/05 Thu
Author: With Guest Matt Hardy
Subject: Carlito's Cabana
In reply to: Jesse Hart 's message, "Opening" on 23:02:43 08/11/05 Thu






~Smackdown! is kick started as the ring is decked out in full décor for Carlito’s Cabana!~






I Spit in the Face… Of People Who Don’t Want to be Cool!







~Carlito then walks out from the back, grinning from ear to ear to boos from the fans. He has an apple in hand and points to fans along the way to the ring. “You’re not cool. You’re not cool. You’re ugly. You’re DEFINITELY not cool!” He laughs to himself as he climbs into the ring, smiling brightly as he takes a mic.~



“Everybody knows dat Carlito knows cool… and Carlito’s Cabana opening Smackdown! two weeks in a row? Da’s cool! Unlike dat stupid coffee shop dat isn’t even on da show dis week, Carlito’s Cabana, da NEW number one talk show in UCW, is back and even better dan last week!”

~Carlito nods his head with a grin before continuing.~ “And dis week, Carlito’s guest is one of da most talked about superstars in da world today. He has been surrounded by controversy for months, and tonight he’s going to talk right here on da Cabana for da FIRST time! So witout furder ado, Carlito’s guest tonight is none oder dan MATT… HAAARDY!”






Oooooooh Yeaaaaaah!







~“Live for the Moment” blasts over the speakers and the crowd pops as Matt Hardy, Version 1, makes his way out from the back! He marches down the ramp, holding the V1 sign above his head as he slides into the ring, going from side to side before taking a mic from the hammock.~


~Carlito nods his head and begins to speak.~ “Matt Hardy, ‘Mr. Version 1’, welcome to da number one talk show on Smackdown!... Carlito’s Cabana!” ~He nods his head with a grin before continuing.~ “On da Cabana, we don’t dilly dally around de big questions, we get right into dem. Last Monday night on Raw, some long haired hippie, kind of like you…” ~He shrugs.~ “… challenged you to a match at da King of da Ring for de International Championship. So… you know… what do you say?”

~Carlito looks on questioningly as Hardy glares at him before speaking.~

Matt: “Thank you for the introduction, Carlito, it warms m’ah heart, it really does. As far as that “long haired hippie” goes… Chris Sabin… Ah have nothing but respect for you, m’ah former Mfer. You truly ARE the Future of this business, and you’re well on your way to getting there. But, as you said, the fact of the matter is that we haven’t squared up officially, and if you want to lay it all on the line at the King of the Ring in the Brand vs Brand, it would be m’ah HONOR.”

Carlito: “So it’s settled… at da Pay-Per-View, Matt Hardy will become da International Champion, and Carlito will become da King of da Ring!” ~He smiles brightly and nods.~ “But I digress, because we all know what we want to hear, and we want to hear, for da first time ever, right here on Carlito’s Cabana, Matt Hardy’s side of da story between da triangle between you, Lita, and Ed—“

~Hardy cuts him off.~ “Shut your mouth before ah cram an apple down your throat, ya’hear? This isn’t Days of our Lives, this is m’ah LIFE!” ~The crowd pops as Hardy goes on.~ “Now ah know what you and everyone else wants to know, but you all know m’ah story. Ah don’t want to go into too many details because ah’m not out to here to whine, bitch and complain, because what happened, happened, and it happened a while ago. So to make a long story short, Lita and I were going to get married, I got hurt, and when ah was laid out, m’ah so-called “best friend” decided to lay m’ah girlfriend!”

~He paces around the ring as he goes on.~ “It takes two to tango, but Edge… it only takes ONE Matt Hardy to kick your ass!” ~The crowd pops.~ “Since ah’ve been back, not only did ah BEAT you at WrestleMania, but ah’ve made your life a stinkin’ hell each and every week! But it’s OBVIOUS to me now that the office doesn’t want us in the ring together, they just don’t trust us. Good call, Athene, but you can’t keep that feaces away from me forever! Tonight is the end of the open contracts, and Matt Hardy ain’t going ANYWHERE! So Edge, ah’ll lay it out like this. If you want this to be over, go to Raw. But, if you stay on Smackdown!, you’re going to find yourself right in the middle of the Era of Mattitude, and your ass Canadian boy, belongs to Matt Hardy, Version Oooooooone-Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh!”

~Carlito claps his hands for Hardy, applauding him.~ “Very impressive speech, Carlito’s impressed. However, Carlito’s not as impressed as you’re going to be when you see who de SECOND guest on Carlito’s Cabana is going to be tonight!”

~Hardy perks a brow as Carlito can’t hide his enthusiasm.~

Carlito: “Let Carlito introduce to you, da newest member of Smackdown!, coming straight from Raw, and Edge’s bed… LIIIIIIIIIITAAAAAAAA!”
















~”Lovefurypassionenergy” blasts over the speakers, and the crowd pops as LITA walks out from the back! She makes her way down the ramp with a sheepish look across her face, walking with her head down as Matt looks on in horror. Once she enters the ring, she stands across from Hardy as he looks on in shock, and Carlito nods his head, visibly pleased with himself.~


~Carlito hands Lita a mic as Matt asks her ‘what the hell are you doing here?’ She raises the mic to her lips to speak, but the crowd interrupts with her with a LOUD chant of…~


“SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! SLUT!”


~Carlito shakes his head “no” as Lita once again lowers hers. She waits them down for a moment before finally speaking.~

Lita: “Ok, I deserve that. There’s no excuse for what I did, and I’m not going to try and make one up. The only thing that matters, Matt, is what I’ve been telling you all long… I’m sorry. It was a mistake. If I could take it back, I would, and I’d…”

~Matt cuts her off.~ “If you could take it BACK? Amy, if we could just take anything we wanted back, ah’d take back the last six years of m’ah life that ah WASTED on you!”

~Lita holds her hands up, begging him to let her continue.~ “You don’t mean that, Matt. I love you, and deep down somewhere, I KNOW that you still love me too.”

~She moves closer to him, sliding a hand across his chest, but he snatches it up and pulls it off of him, twisting her wrist.~

Matt: “Don’t you EVER touch me again!”

Lita: “Matt… please… I’m begging you… give me another chance… please…”













~Waterproof Blonde's "Just Close Your Eyes" starts on the speakers, sending out Christian with a mic and a bored look.~ "If this is what you call a ratings winner, Carlito... I'm officially changing the channel right now. This is Carlito's Cabana, the coolest show on television. Not a Lifetime Channel special on mountain love and


~Carlito looks on with his eyes wide, visibly getting mad at Christian as he continues.~

Christian: "Let me see if I've got this straight. She used to nail Aerosmith...oops, the Partridge Fami....wait...YOU, Matt. And...for six years, everything was fine. Everything was dandy. It was almost even love. Sure makes my brown eyes blue, I tell ya. But wait, hold the phone, stop the presses. There's trouble in them thar hills!"

~Both Matt and Lita glare over at the C-man. Lita places a hand on Matt's face, trying to have him focus on her, but he pulls away and leans over the ropes, pointing at Christian and calling him on!~

Christian: "No, you listen to me...and YOU..." He stops and points at Lita. "You've said and done all that you're good for...standing up, that is." He waits for a few jeers and a few hoots from the asshole section. "You can sit here and cry, and whine, and jeer about my brother being your best friend, who nailed your girl. Matt...when did we EVER like you two? Or even you, Lita? If E&C wanted to make a difference, we did it by beating on a Hardy or two. But I guess Edge wanted to get the last straw, the final word. So he went over the two idiots in our way, and instead of breaking ladders, and busting chairs...he went and crashed something much more valuable. He broke your heart, and that SLUT'S back!"

"Edge has had his problems with all of us. He's moved on. I've had problems with all of you. I'VE moved on. Carlito had a bad perm. HE...well, I moved on! We can go and do the man dance here, Matt...that's cool. Or, you can suck it up, stop boring my peeps, and send that trick back to Raw, Playboy, or the Dollhouse down the road, where she BELONGS!"

~Hardy is ready to explode, with Lita trying to hold him back. At the last second, she pulls him away from the ropes, and right into a SPEAR by an onrushing Edge!! Edge quickly bails out of the ring as Hardy rolls into a ball on the mat. Carlito jumps up and down, pointing and laughing at him as Lita drops to her knees, checking on Matt and scolding Edge.~

~Edge meets Christian on the ramp with a classic E&C running high five. Back in the ring, as Matt rolls away from Lita, shoving her away, Carlito bounces on his toes around him and SPITS an apple right on him, and then right in Lita's face! The crowd BOOS with boos as Carlito's theme plays over the speakers, and he quickly heads to the outside, almost doubling over laughing and pointing back into the ring!~

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Replies:

  • Following the Commercial Break -- Backstage, 01:08:00 08/12/05 Fri
  • King of the Ring Qualifying -- Christian w/Tomko vs Charlie Haas, 00:40:19 08/16/05 Tue
  • Backstage -- Team Angle?, 00:45:31 08/16/05 Tue
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