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Date Posted: 17:40:03 08/20/00 Sun
Author: EFEEKO EL HOOCHO!!!
Subject: Whatever

OK, I've had just about ENOUGH of this! Of course, I'm certain NONE of this will be over until Josh figures out how to impregnate a goat (I'm sure he'll realize how in a matter of years... college isn't too far off.) But, when you think about it, there's nothing like a monster flick to turn off a thespian, yet turn on a lesbian... Regardless, the meat dicer and bagel slicer are figments of the imagination, but should NEVER be told they are. Appliances with sharp blades, imaginary or no, will still cut your nuts off. Oh! While we're on the topic, Josh, DON'T look behind you. Anyway, there's something about male cheerleaders I'll just never understand: WHY?! WHY WHY WHY?!?!?! Really! If they were on the top person in the triangle formation, any slight mishap would lead to sterility! The only cheerleaders that are respectable are the ones in the skirts who give hand jobs... But, if you're ever near a microwave in the future, that a LARGE step away from the device. Then take another LARGE step toward it, insert a roll of toilet paper (it must be at least 3/4 unused for the trick to work properly), set the timer for precisely eleven seconds, and let press the on button (I'm not sure if its really an "on" button... I don't have a microwave for obvious reasons). Next, let the roll simmer until the flames have gone out for drinks. Serve. For best results, drink Surge an hour before cooking and then urinate on the toilet paper. This way, the finished product will initially emit a breath of freshness not unlike that made popular by the Canadian perfume "Barrel of Pickles" when you open the microwave. "INITIALLY" is the key word in that sentence, though. I am not legally allowed to say what happens next... In ending, I would like to answer the question Josh has been pestering me with for quite some time now: No, Josh, you CANNOT get a hummer from a pencil sharpener. It's too small (and I'm NOT talking about the pencil sharpener)...
EFEEKO EL HOOCHO!!!
For more, visit http://www.johnokeefe.com or http://www.johnokeefeisaflaminghomosexual.ipfox.com.

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