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Date Posted: 11:39:31 08/26/00 Sat
Author: EFEEKO EL HOOCHO!!!!
Subject: Getting High on the Hill was the LONELY GOATHERD!!!

I absolutely MUST confront two inter-related issues which have been PESTERING ME for the past two to nineteen months... I, EFEEKO EL HOOCHO, went to see the Longwood H.S. performance of South Pacific some time ago. Here' my good, bad, and ugly report:
THE GOOD- Dozens of female extras ran across the stage a number of times in their bathing suits.
THE BAD- Whenever ANY of the guys tried to hit an infamous B.G. Note (Named for 2 reasons: The Bee-Gees, who hit really high notes consistently, and also B.G. can be said to stand for Ball Grabbing, a technique used by non-castrated choir members, such as the Bee-Gees, to hit them really high notes). Also, when that Brian Sabatella look-alike sang "gayer than springtime". Yes, that was disturbing.
THE UGLY- When the lead actress, and YES I AM CERTAIN OF THIS, sang "I'm as HORNY as Kansas in August" instead of "I'm as CORNY as Kansas in August". However, it wasn't that ugly because it proved to be a major turn-on for me, as she sang that line several more times.

Also, I went to see the Shoreham-Wading River H.S. performance of The Sound of Music. Yes, the same one where Jackson broke his foot @. Regardless, here's my g/b/&u:
THE GOOD: Look at the lead actress. Look at her fine bouncers. FINE FINE FINE!!!!!
THE BAD: When the microphones went dead much of the final performance. However, when it came to SOME actors' singing parts, maybe that should belong under THE GOOD!!!
THE UGLY: Instead of singing the proper lyrics, "Getting high on the hill was a lonely goatherd lay-de-oh-de-lay-de-oh-de-lay-he-who!!!", the lead actress (yes, the same one with the fine bouncers) sang "High on the hill was a lonely goatherd bawitabah-de-bang-de-bang-diggy-diggy-diggy-set-the-oogie-then-up-jump-the-boogie". What disappointed me even more is that she didn't ad-lib with the chant at the end and sing "Y'all-got-the-balls-orangutan-busy-gettin-freaky-with-the-wookie-that-upchucked-the-boogie!".

STAY TUNED FOR REVIEW OF COYOTE UGLY...

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