Chapter five -- Witchblade Karma

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Date Posted: 02:12:31 05/21/02 Tue
Author: Spin
Subject: Chapter five
In reply to: Spin 's message, "Through her eyes : Sequel to 'Through my eyes'" on 01:53:08 05/21/02 Tue

My eyes well up with tears, my heart is about to burst into my chest. You�re still there. From the expression on your face, I caught you unexpectedly. Which gave me time to open the widow and grab you before you disappeared.

I pulled at your arm and you awkwardly stumbled in. Not wanting to risk you dashing off, I lock the window. I turn back to see you in that damn stance of yours. I can�t talk to some one who can�t look me in the eyes.

�Look at me, Nottingham!� I demanded.

Instead you lower your head and widen your stance. Why? I wondered at that for a moment then it hit me. You were preparing yourself for more verbal assaults from me. I could feel the weight of guilt piling on my shoulders. I guess my feelings for you kind of left me unprepared. They say �We fear the unknown� and I know next to nothing about you, yet some thing inside tells me I�m the one person who truly knows the real you.

The blade has been hinting at it this whole time. It just took me a lot longer to accept what it had been telling me.

�I�m sorry�

�Sorry for what, Lady Sara?�

Did I really say that out loud? I guess I must have cause he looked up at me briefly from his bowed head.

�Sorry for what?�

Now that I think about it there is a lot I should be sorry for. I never really gave him a chance. I immediately labeled him as an enemy because of his association with Kenneth Irons. I assumed just because Irons had been after the blade that he too was after it, but I was wrong.

He had the opportunity, he held the Witchblade in his hand and instead of returning it to Irons he placed it back on me. Knowing fully the reprisal from Irons was awaiting for him, yet he outright lied to his master, willing to accept his punishment. He did all this for me. He risked so much and I never appreciated his sacrifice.

I viewed his actions as an act, a servant sent by his master to manipulate, and try to gain control over me. When in fact his actions were not done in acts of servility, but more on the acts of his love and devotion towards me.

I�ve been so stubborn in my ways I didn�t see what he was really doing. Frustrated because he wouldn�t give me what I wanted: answers or more so, straight answers. Yet, in his own way he was guiding, teaching me how to control the blade so it doesn�t control me. Making me believe in the blade so it doesn�t abandon me at my most dire need.

When he would appear out of nowhere, I would accuse him of following me. I would refuse his offer to help thinking there was a catch. Even after the Irish massacre I still had my doubts about him. Then he came to me bearing his love, his devotion and in return I became spiteful. I didn�t want him to be a part of my life, this enigma of a man. Because may be I was afraid that this one person truly understood what I felt, even when I myself didn�t. And that scared the shit out of me.

He�s still in that damn stance of his, probably waiting for an answer. But what do I say? There had been so much to be sorry for. I took him for granted and neglected the one thing he wanted from me. I felt so ashamed I couldn�t bear to look at him. I�m angrier now then ever before because my weakness blinded me. It took a damn dream to open my eyes to what was in front of me.

�I�m sorry for a lot of things, Nottingham.� May be it wasn�t exactly an apology. But how do I apologize to some one I have been spiteful to since the beginning? What do I say or do to make up all the hurtful remarks I made. Where do I start?

�Why not tell him how you feel, Pez.�

�Danny?!� I said before I could stop myself. Great now Nottingham�s going to think I�m crazy.

�If you wish, Lady Sara. I shall leave now and give you a private moment with your partner.� May be I wasn�t the only one going crazy.

�NO! No, you�re not going anywhere. Just give me a few minutes, but first can some one please tell me how this is all possible?� I stare between the two, before Nottingham started to explain.

�I had been sent to watch over you during the Periculum, that is when Det. Woo made his appearance known. Satisfied that I was not the only one watching over you, I left.� I look at Danny for his side of the story.

�It�s true, Pez. He saw my reflection on the window. I think I might have scared him a little, too.� I shake my head at Danny�s grin.

�Can you see and hear Danny, Nottingham?�

�Though I can feel his presence I can not hear nor see Det. Woo.� Convinced with his explanation I walk over to the window, Danny right besides me.

�So are you going to tell him or not, Pez?� I stare at Danny, not knowing what to say.

�Sara, don�t say anything just listen to me.� I nodded my response

�I know you�re scared cause this is new to you. Believe me it�s a lot scarier from Nottingham�s view. You can�t possibly know the kind of life he�s gone through being under Irons so-called care.�

I sneak a glance at Nottingham, taking in his submissive stance, wondering what had Irons done to him over the years to make him this way.

�I know this is going to sound a bit clich� but your love will set him free.�

�You�re right it does sound clich�. What if my love isn�t enough? What if I�m too late, Danny?�

�Pez, do you really think he keeps coming back because he likes your animosity towards him? The Witchblade gave you a chance, it gave you a glimpse into a possible future.�

�Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that Nottingham is going to die because of me?� It was bad enough to dream about his death, but for it to become true was something else.

�Sara, I know you don�t want to let him in because your afraid that if you care too much you would lose him too. If you don�t tell him you�re going to lose him any way. Nottingham is alive and here, now. Use the chance the Witchblade gave you.� With that said Danny faded from my view.

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Chapter six -- Spin, 02:14:10 05/21/02 Tue