Ready to write finally -- 9/11/02 MEMORIES

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Date Posted: 22:11:08 08/28/02 Wed
Author: Mitch Slotnick
Subject: Ready to write finally

I've been visiting this 9/11 web page every month or so since Gregg started it. I was curious to read all the entries and deliberated for a while if I should post a message or not.
I still remember logging onto AOL shortly before 9:00A.M.They always have a picture and a couple of news items on their site. I was taken aback when I saw the picture of the first tower hit. The picture showed a gaping hole with thick black smoke spewing out of it. I got very angry at AOL! I remember thinking that this was a very f'd up joke on AOL's part. It certainly couldn't be real! I thought that it might have been a promo for a new movie or something along those lines.
After my angry reaction, I ran to the nearest T.V. and like everyone else, I was in shock and even denial! I am a logical person and this attack was out of the clear blue sky (no pun intended). I knew that this was an attack before the second plane hit. As a former Marine, I always stay engaged in world events and always knew that evil existed and hatred would again be aimed at America, and still it seemed like some Bruce Willis flick. For a long time. Must've been a few days before the shock wore off and my reality forced a new emotion into my head.
Without getting too mushy, I believe I went from shock to deep saddness, to incredible anger, and finally, a strong as steel resolve.
Many out there would have you and I believe that now is the time for us to "heal" as a nation. Not me! Not yet! There will be time for healing down the road. We have too much to do before that. It's almost one year later and I'm still raw. I know in my heart that there is still a great threat from many "Islamist's" that would like nothing more than to kill you and me. I believe that for the future of my children and their children, that we must continue to be strong in our resolve. This is the classic battle between good and evil. I'm not being dramatic. Most Americans want instant resolution and instant gratification. I am more patient than that. Sept 11th, 2001 changed me. I hope it has changed all of us. It's funny that if I would have posted here a few months ago, my words would probably be identical, with few, if any changes. Now you know why I wrestled with typing this message. It sort of opens me up to some interesting responses! I am happy that I found the nerve to write this. If anything, it is an extremely honest insight to my thinking process and I apologize for nothing.

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[> Re: Ready to write finally -- DD, 06:14:57 08/29/02 Thu

I think you did the right thing by waiting to write down your feelings.
I can relate to exactly what you are feeling. As a Proud daughter of a Vietnam Vet and a Proud wife of a NYC Policeman, I too feel in alot of ways the same as you.
At first, I won't lie...but I wanted instant resolution and gratification( somewhere inside of me, I still do!). When I saw my dad- a Big, Tough, Biker, Vietnam Vet(who rarely shows his emotions) actually sit down and cry with me, I LOST my mind!!!! As for my husband...he tried to be brave for a while. After many days and nights working down by ground zero, he eventually broke down too.
These 2 men in my life are the ones I look up to for strength and "protection". It's scary, but I am stronger from this unfortunate event.
I understand that this must be thought out very carefully in everything our government does, and that this will be a long battle ahead for all of us.
I have always been patriotic and proud to be an American.
At first when this happened, I felt very vulnerable, and weak..like..How could this happen to US???
I too, am still, just like you, "raw" from this and have not yet and probably will never "really" heal from this BUT the one thing I know is that I am so much stronger than I thought I ever could be, and more PROUD than ever before to be an AMERICAN.
We will come out on top from this, we always have.

Thank you Mitch.
I have come on this board since it was started and could not put my thoughts into words as you can see, I rambled on a little, but after reading your post I just started typing.
Thanks.
God Bless, Protect and Watch over all of us and our Troops overseas.
God Bless the Victims on 9/11 and their families.

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[> [> Re: Ready to write finally -- Mitch Slotnick, 21:33:28 09/01/03 Mon

Hmmmm....so here we are again. It's amazing how another year flies by and now the second anniversary of the brutal attacks of 9/11 are upon us. You know, as I sit here preparing to write another piece on this subject, I feel a little pissed off. I'm pissed that we haven't found Bin Laden. I'm pissed that Saddam keeps eluding us. I'm pissed that as we head into the presidential election cycle, the leading democrat candidate (the very liberal Howard Dean) keeps gaining ground by being anti-war/anti Bush. What would he have done if he was president when 9/11 happened? I'm pissed at the sheeple that are buying what he's selling. I'm also a little pissed off at myself! I had a nice vacation with my family this summer. My optimistic outlook has reappeared. The economic picture is starting to look like a market upswing is taking root. Positive things are happening in my life. My family's health is good. And of course....time keeps ticking away. As it does, I've lessened my resolve a notch or two. The drama of the cable news channel's "News Alert" doesn't inspire the same dreadful and anxious response that it used to. I'm enjoying life! Now I know that we must strive for balance in our day to day living and I know that we all say we will never forget 9/11 (and we won't, I know that), but in the dark places of my mind and heart ( and I got them too), I also know that we are long overdue for another attack and that we are all damn fortunate that we have been able to stop another one thus far. So yeah, time heals all wounds to some degree, huh? I'm not sleeping with one eye open anymore and I think that is what's pissing me off. Our enemies are out there and they want to kill you, me and our children. It's hard to write a sentence like that when the hysteria level is down to a minimum level. Oh well, at least I'm honest. I'm also grateful that Gregg came up with a page like this for thinking people to put their feelings down in words. I'm happy to contribute. And DD, your post was outstanding! I've been meaning to tell you that for a while. I hope that you too, are less "raw" this year, but not too much less. And of course your sentiment was dead-on. We will come out on top from this, we always have.
OK....time to stop. I'll look forward to writing the next installment, next September. I wish all my former Canarsie friends and Americans everywhere a good and happy life. Let's stay strong folks. You never know.

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