Checking in, not checking out -- Hogalum Discussion

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Subject: Checking in, not checking out

Author:
Ken

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Date Posted: 10:01:00 10/02/02 Wed

Hey guys,

I wanted to drop you all a quick note because I have been scarce lately and I replied to an email from Jeff recently, telling him about my recent hospital visit, and I thought you might be concerned.

First of all, I am fine. I am not what you would call a perfect specimen, but by all accounts I should live to a ripe old age.

Last Sunday, I began having severe chest pains, which scared the piss out of me. I have not had a checkup in twenty years because I am a stupid fuck, and my ignorance of my own state of health fed into my fears about my chest pains, and next thing you know, I was having a full-fledged panic attack, which I am told is remarkably similar to a heart attack.

I went to the emergency room and they told me I am fat and that I should quit smoking and drinking fifty pots of coffee every day. They also prescribed an anti-anxiety medication, a prescription which I have not had filled.

That's pretty much the long and the short of it. Ironically, I have recently started a moderate exercise regime, cut back on my coffee intake, and I was down to less than ten smokes a day. I intend to continue with that program.

They still don't know what caused the chest pains in the first place, but I have recently deduced that it was actually a simple muscle spasm/cramping caused by my continuous (allergic) sneezing. I feel fine now. Don't worry. And I'll write more soon.

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Checking in, not checking out
Author: Curt [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 14:10:03 10/02/02 Wed Ken, I'm glad to hear that it was nothing and that you are looking into a health lifestyle. I don't remember you being fat the last time I saw you. Was the doctor using hyperbole?

[> [> Subject:

Re: Checking in, not checking out

Author:
John
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 18:14:54 10/02/02 Wed

>I don't remember you being fat the last time I saw
>you. Was the doctor using hyperbole?

No, I remember Ken being really, really fat. Fat, fat, fat! And I mean FAT! Ken has his own zip code. When Ken sits around the house... oh, forget it. Seriously, I suspect that Ken was the one using hyperbole. We're all old farts now and we can all shed a few pounds, but no, Ken's definitely not fat. Wait, I mean Ken's not phat! But he is a real lard ass. ;-)

Ken, I'm glad you're okay. Take good care of yourself. Personally, I perscribe a short break. A vacation of sorts, like a trip to Tucson. Now get your ass down here before I move away to some far off land.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Checking in, not checking out

Author:
Jeff
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 19:37:10 10/02/02 Wed

Maybe Ken has a mass issue and not fat. Ken exactly WHAT was your doctor looking at when you mentioned the weight? Maybe he was looking at your crotch and with a smirk on his face he remarked you needed to get loose with all that weight?
Fat, what the fuck? Ken has been skinny for years! Ken, my years of medical training from reading Dr.Strange comics and the adventures of Dr. Bruce Banner......If its a physical issue...a lot of pain and hard to breath...could be the result of a viral infection which can cause chest-wall seizures. These can be very painful...and hard to breathe...usually muscle relaxants work. But they can reoccur. Now IF its the result of a panic attack...that is going to involve some kind of work...I believe John will support this. The panic is caused by some underlying fear and sense of out of control...something....its not because of the coffee, the smokes and the constant masterbating....oh, wait...thats my issue....sorry...those things may have been the final triggers but I'm sure theres some underlying shit laying there Ken that you ought to look into....otherwise, 6-9 months later...it'll happen again. I say...get into a doctor and start learning about yourself. You also state you haven't filled your perscription. Why not? So, your not taking the meds the dr. thinks you should start on and not seeing a doctor and plan on working it all out yourself.....uh, that would be like me announcing out of the clear blue that I'm going to broadcast my own radio show.....hey....wait a second.........

[> [> [> [> Subject:

Re: Checking in, not checking out

Author:
Ken
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 18:01:29 10/03/02 Thu

>Fat, what the fuck? Ken has been skinny for years!

I don't own a scale, and I estimated my weight at 180 lbs when they were quizzing me in the ER. The triage nurse shook her head and made me stand on a scale. Much to my surprise, tubby old Ken is tipping the scales at a portly 208. I don't think this is a gain, though; my clothes aren't getting tighter, at any rate. But no, the doctor didn't say I was fat (or phat, for that matter). He said I need more exercise, though, and I concur heartily. These 12oz curls I'm doing aren't quite what the doctor ordered.

>If its a physical issue...a lot of pain
>and hard to breath...could be the result of a viral
>infection which can cause chest-wall seizures. These
>can be very painful

I have been sneezing quite a lot and I think I strained some of those muscles.

>Now IF
>its the result of a panic attack...that is going to
>involve some kind of work

I think I got panicked because I thought I was having a heart attack.

>those things may have been the final
>triggers but I'm sure theres some underlying shit
>laying there Ken that you ought to look
>into....otherwise, 6-9 months later...it'll happen
>again.

Oh ye of little faith...

>I say...get into a doctor and start learning
>about yourself. You also state you haven't filled your
>perscription. Why not? So, your not taking the meds
>the dr. thinks you should start on and not seeing a
>doctor and plan on working it all out yourself.

I don't care to take mood altering drugs if it can be avoided. If I am going to analyze myself, it would be helpful if I were present, don't you agree?

>that would be like me announcing out of the clear blue
>that I'm going to broadcast my own radio
>show.

Don't be ridiculous, Jeff! You would never do something so stupid.

[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: Checking in, not checking out

Author:
Jeff
[ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 20:29:51 10/03/02 Thu

>Much to my surprise, tubby old Ken is tipping the scales at a portly 208.

Good Lord Ken, you fat fuck!!! I am down to 220....thats just 12 more then you!!! 2 more months of mac&cheese and I won't be the biggest guy in the group....although I will still have the biggest dick!!

Ok, Ken....I'll let you 'do your thang' but if I hear you are found hiding under a desk at work sucking your thumb... well then maybe its time to get some exercise.

By the way I've discovered from attorney it'll cost 350 bucks to become incorporated.....bad news it'll cost 2-7k to get The ManTalk Show trademarked AND it can take a year before its complete....so NO trademarking.