Re: tertekan ng ibu sendiri -- Ruangan Laporan Masalah Kaunseling Online

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Subject: Re: tertekan ng ibu sendiri

Author:
Abanakib

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Date Posted: 08:01:43 08/24/09 Mon
In reply to: r0se 's message, "tertekan ng ibu sendiri" on 18:41:06 08/23/09 Sun

Salam Rose,

Saya menulis dengan harapan agar dapt mengurangkan BEBAN atau menambah KEKUATAN rose.. either one or perhaps BOTH if possible

Mungkin nasihat2 ni Rose boleh fikirkan untuk mnambah KEKUATAN:

1) Negative thoughts are NOT the sypmtoms of Depression.. they are the ROOT CAUSE of it.

Kita tak sakit hati kerana sesuatu perkara itu menyakitkan hati. Kita sakit hati kerana kita BENARKAN ia menyakitkan hati kita. In other words ' No one can hurt your feelings WITHOUT ur CONSENT!!'

Baik..sy berpendapat Rose kena start berhenti melihat segalanya dalam konteks negative dan berlatih mencari yang positif.

Dont jump to conclusions...
Dont start being the fortune teller or read minds..
Dont blow things out of proportion
Dont say things to yourself that you wouldnt even say to others!!

Sy tak kata ianya mudah... tp ianya TAK MUSTAHIL dgn latihan.

"my m0m sllau kte..kalo cm ne gaye ank..mama tue nnt ddok rymah or tue la..i sdeh bl dga...cm i ne ank x gne lgs0ng"

--> kalau rose anak tak guna.. kenapa rose bertungkus lumus nak turutkan hati mak even kalau mende tuh rose sndri tak suka.. like going for egypt ??

--> anak tak guna takkan sedih dgr mak cakap camni. Sy raser anak tak guna akan sangat2 happy kalau mak dier cam tau2 je mane nak kena campak dah tua nanti. It definitely means that theres NO WAY you are going to abandon her when she needs you.Right ?

"i guesss my m0m benci kt i kot"

--> kalau mom tak sayang LANGSUNG kat Rose.. kenapa dia sanggup cari funds untuk rose blajar kat private institution overseas??

--> that means she care.. but in her OWN WAY.The ways that apparently makes you suffocate and the way that BURDENS you. Nonetheless...she CARES!

2) "SEORANG ANAK TIDAK WAJIB MENYAYANGI IBUBAPANYA TETAPI WAJIB MENGHORMATI DAN BERBUAT BAIK TERHADAP KEDUANYA"

Sayang itu tidak datang tanpa sebab2 yang boleh membuatkan kita hati kita sayang pada dia. Apatah lagi kalau dia sering menyakitkan hati kita... kan lagi susah nak sayang.

TAPI.. TAPI.. dan TAPI...

Anak WAJIB berBUAT baik pada keduanya...sekalipun hati membenci. Kata kuncinya "BUAT".

Ini kerana Tuhan tak hukum kita dengan jahatnya RASA..Tuhan hukum kita dengan apa yang kita "BUAT" dan baiknya NIAT

Rasa nak tengking mak.. tapi TAK buat : Kita dapt satu pahala sebab tak tengking. Takde dosa untuk rasa sekalipun badan dah menggeletar nak terkam mak.

Rasa nak gembirakan mak and buat benda2 yang menggembirakan dia : Kita dapat pahala buat DAN niat yang baik.

Jadi... seandainya mak rose SAMPAI TAK REDHA melainkan rose study medic di mesir.. Nasihat saya LAPANGKANLAH hati rose dan PERGILAH.

Ingatlah yang PERANCANGAN TUHAN ITU LEBIH BAIK. dan kali ini ia datang dengan redha mak.

Allah pesan yang kekadang benda yang kita sangat2 nak itu bukanlah benda yang baik tapi benda yang kita taknak itu lah yang terbaik untuk kita. (MAKSUD AYAT QURAN)

Allah SWT MAHA MENGETAHUI. Mungkin ini caranya dia sedang mendidik hati rose dan berbicara dengan rose.

Akhir sekali saya ada satu lagi pesan.

"Menunaikan kewajipan pada ibubapa tanpa perasaan sayang adalah tidak lain dan tidak bukan hanya suatu beban"

Analoginya macam kita buat kerja yang kita tak enjoy. Since we discharge our responsibility to our fullest commitment.. so gaji kita HALAL.. TAPI..tidakkah hati kita MERANA sepanjang masa ??

Doa saya agar Tuhan mengembalikan rasa kasih sayang antara rose dan mak sebagaimana saya yakin yang dia pernah sayang rose masa kecik2 dulu. Kalau mak tak sayang kita.. masa kita sakit dia sepak2 je.. masa mengandung dia campakkan je kita dalam tong sampah.

Mungkin ini boleh mengurangkan BEBAN Rose:

Yang menyakitkan Rose skarng adalah bila mak slalu nak benda yang Rose taknak like go for oversea.. and overly sensitive

Cuba cari satu peluang yg rose nampak dia sangat2 relax.. maybe lepas makan..or after you buat air untuk dier ke..masa tengok citer favourite dier ke.. and start to dig carefully and politely and dengan sangat2 lembut why she is so Dissapointed dengan rose. Is it really because of ur SPM result ?? or the fact that she is comparing you with her friends' children result ??

Or maybe she did not get the chance to study at the top uni doing the most celebrated career path that she wants to REDO HER LIFE using you.

Whatever it is.. this will help you to cope with whatever disgruntles that crops up due to this very root cause.

Once rose dah tahu the root cause of it...You have to MAKE PEACE with it..means to learn to redha.

Example.. if its really about your SPM result, let me tell you this:

The fact that ur result was almost perfect means you have put ur BEST effort. Come on la.. the worst is B4 ?? That is very very very impressive!

First : YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT YOU HAVE DONE YOUR BEST!
Second : to get mom to understand that YOU HAD DONE YOUR BEST

I want to say this... the fact that you are sad when your mom showing dissapointments on ur results in almost everyday maybe means this --> YOU STILL DEEPLY BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE FAILED YOURSELF...LET ALONE HER.

I might be PLAIN WRONG and i stand corrected.. but that is just to instigate you into thinking what IS the right one.

Tuhan lebih tahu dan Dia Maha Mengetahui.

-Abanakib

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: tertekan ng ibu sendiri	Pengembara Alam (Happy)	08:31:00 10/28/09 Wed