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Date Posted: 08:22:39 06/18/02 Tue
Author: DeepaD
Subject: I want to place an order!
In reply to: Indri 's message, "Re: All-flavoured Spike! Is All-Purpose Spike too!" on 21:50:34 06/17/02 Mon

rotflmao
*wipes tears and picks self up from floor*
God, Indri, that was hilarious!
He comes in all flavours, he's more versatile than a Swiss army knife, and i hear he only comes in an extra-large size…
I think our catalogue will be a sell-out, don't you?
A few more models -
Spike the sensitive bedwarmer - will comfort you through all those nightmares because, god knows, everyone has nightmares that leave them trembling.

Spike the thermostat - cool as ice against your back in a deliciously wicked way, and then burning heat as he, erm, you know.

Spike the great bisexualiser – guaranteed to turn even the most shrinking lesbian into a wanton hetero sex slut, and convert the most homophobic male into an inveterate slasher.

Spike the brit slang dictionary – for all those words for homosexuals and balls that you never wanted to know
And lets not even get into the adults only models…

Ok, I’d like my Spikebot with batteries included, please.

Deepa D.

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Replies:

[> [> Re: All-flavoured Spike! Is All-Purpose Spike too! -- Fleisch, 17:07:39 06/18/02 Tue

There's also:

Male Bonding Spike, available for showcasing friendly demons or occasional moments of reluctant camaraderie with Xander

Linguistic Spike (handy for those travel fics or introducing new demon species) -- presumably based on his knowing Fyarl and not on "debasing the beef canoe"

and my personal unfavorite:
Domestic Spike, who has no correlation on the show that I'm aware of (unless you really want to stretch implied bartending abilities) but nevertheless shows up in many fics wearing an apron and cooking


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[> [> [> Re: All-flavoured Spike! Is All-Purpose Spike too! -- Indri, 19:34:34 06/18/02 Tue

>There's also:

>Domestic Spike, who has no correlation on the show
>that I'm aware of (unless you really want to stretch
>implied bartending abilities) but nevertheless shows
>up in many fics wearing an apron and cooking

I like Domestic Spike. A man who can cook is always an asset. So is a man who's not afraid to wear an apron. But I can never work out when Spike might have learnt this skill--certainly not when he was alive. Spike only eats junk food and I don't remember Dru eating anything other than people. He wouldn't have cooked for Harmony. Is he taking culinary night classes on the sly?

I'm afraid I thought of a few more Spikes at work today. I'll list them now and then I'll stop, I promise. There's:

Abandoned Childe Spike

Shotgun Wedding Spike, who has had to fix his hair and get a real job because there's a Little Bad on the way and now he has to help pay for its upkeep and the wedding.

John Constantine Spike, named after the long-coated, blond Londoner of the Hellblazer comics who wanders the mean streets, investigating dark magic, reeking of cigarette smoke and moral ambiguity.

Indri


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