Opiates, Jesus, and Rush -- <font size = "4">The Drunks Bar </font size "4">

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Date Posted: 22:12:20 10/17/03 Fri
Author: Reverend E. Dwayne Looper
Subject: Opiates, Jesus, and Rush
In reply to: OPB 's message, "Rush & Opiates" on 12:17:04 10/17/03 Fri

What is opiate addiction? My friend, opiate addiction to a sinner is a drug crime. To a Christian it is a chance to experience God's forgiveness.

You see, Jesus puts the forgiveness in opiates whereas Satan puts the sin in them. We must not focus on the opiate, but rather on its spiritual additives.

Bro. Rush Limbaugh merely suffered a tiny indescretion for which my Jesus has completely forgiven him. Likewise with Betty Ford and Noell Bush. All forgiven, unlike the dead-and-in-hell Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Kobain, Jim Morrison, Chris Farely, John Belushi, ad infinitum. All dead and all in hell.

In any case, Jesus is my opiate. I am "high" on Jesus and need no other drugs. When I do take an illegal narcotic, however, I am safe because I know that Jesus forgives me and will have his angels watch over me when I am on my drug high. The forgiveness of Christ is also true when I, during a drug-induced frenzy, have sex with teenage girls.

Jesus is always the difference between good and bad. The unsaved utterly fail to understand and call Christians hypocrites, but that is simply not true. If anyone is a hypocrite, it is the unsaved liberal who has no morals and no moral comprehension of salvation and its many benefits.

Lucy in the sky with diamonds?

Ha!

Try Jesus in the sky with nail-scarred hands!

That is how Looper got his groove back!

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Replies:

Opiates, Jesus, and Rush -- Reverend E. Dwayne Looper, 22:13:58 10/17/03 Fri