| Subject: Re: Motherhood ambivalence? |
Author:
Jen
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Date Posted: 07:24:49 07/08/02 Mon
In reply to:
Scipio
's message, "Re: Motherhood ambivalence?" on 19:18:24 07/07/02 Sun
I wonder if it is a generational thing. It seems like a LOT of people in the Baby Boom and later generations expect too much from life in general--as if they are *entitled* to constant stimulation, fulfillment, and personal bliss. Maybe we have too much leisure time to devote to angst, who knows?
It just makes me think of my maternal grandparents--his desire to be a doctor was thwarted by his father's death (forced him to leave school in 8th grade), she had to leave school in 7th grade to help with her family farm...they lived through the Depression and didn't even have indoor plumbing or electricity until the mid-to-late 1940s. My mom wore clothes made of feed sacks and went to town once a month! They had to worry about smallpox and polio and all those diseases; they had to work hard just to get by.
Neither of them had any chance for "personal fulfillment" or "intellectual stimulation" as we think of it, yet neither was ever resentful of their life situation--they were truly happy people. And it isn't because they were too "ignorant" to expect more--they were two of the best read and most informed people I knew, and they had a keen interest in new technology etc. They sought beauty where they could--their gardens, needlework, the few trips they could take, etc. They absolutely made the best of their situation with NO whining. Sometimes I'm ashamed of my personal petty frustrations when I think about their example--and I know it is only because I *expect too much*. (My mom is the same way--she'll get into a snit about the plumber being late or something, and then she'll snap out of it and say, "yet the happiest days of my life were spent on a farm with an outhouse, so why should I care about this so much!")
Contrast that with Naomi Wolf, who is all whiny and self-indulgent because ALL she has is a NANNY to help her with her newborn, and being a mom is soooo HARD. Good God! ITA, new moms need more support and caring than they get, but motherhood is not THAT bad, lol. In fact, there is a lot of amusement (among other things) to be derived from it--I know my kids can make me laugh harder than any comedian (like the other day, when I overheard my bossy 5 y/o say to her brother "okay, now let's pretend that I'm God." ROFL!)
Jen
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