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Date Posted: 16:15:56 10/22/00 Sun
Author: Dark Tiger/Jack Otis/Kristine Otis/ Wee Mad Arthur
Subject: Jack's sister is crazy!


Dark Tiger




Jack Otis





((( Even though Dark Tiger is a wrestler, he likes to spend most of his time in his home-town Boston. To celebrate Dark Tiger's exceptance into the GWA, Jack Otis and Tiger are going to the bar for some drinks. Tiger and Jack walk down the street light lit side walk of center street. Dark Tiger is dressed in some jeans and a blue fall jacket, to his left, Jack is wearing a black coat, a white shirt, and some khakis. On his eyes he's wearing some dark shades and because of them, he's constantly running into things.

Every time Jack slams into something he'll say something like "'Scuse me ma'am" or "I meant to do that" and always keeps looking as confident as he can. Jack walks into a light pole. )))

Jack: "Ow! Sorry ma'am!"

((( Tiger looks over at Jack. A bruise is already starting to appear on Jack's forehead. Tiger quickly pulls Jack out of the path of a bicycle. Jack pulls away. )))

Tiger: "Take those glasses off, stupid! Your blind as a bat!"

((( Jack frowns and looks in the general direction of Tiger, because he can't really see Tiger. )))

Jack: "NO! These glasses look cool! 'sides I payed three hundred bucks for these things! I'm gonna wear 'em as much as possible!"

Tiger: "But it's night-time, you can't see at all."

Jack: "Whatever- I'll be able to see better when we get to the bar."

((( And so they continue down the side-walk, and on the way, Jack takes more damage then Mick Foley in a Japanese Death Match. Tiger opens the oak door to the bar and walks in, Jack stumbles after him. When Jack steps into the light of the bar, he looks around like he's never been able to see before. They both take a usual seat at the bar. )))

Jack: "She should be here soon."

((( Jack looks at his watch and smiles, but Tiger is confused. He frowns. )))

Tiger: "She? Who's she?"

Jack: "I got you a date! She's great you'll like her!"

((( Jack slaps Tiger on the back and grins. )))

Tiger: "I thought I told you never to put me in a blind date again! Remember what happened last time you did that?"

((( Everything begins to get wavy as Tiger remembers the last blind date he had. She spent all showing him her sppoon collection. Jack jumps up and waves his hands around. )))

Jack: "ACK! NO! No wavy flashback thing! You know I get motion sick!"

((( The waviness stops and Tiger stops remembering. Jack sits back down. )))

Tiger: "Sorry."

Jack: "Anyway, she's great. Plus she's my sister."

Tiger: "Oh great! Your sister?! She's realated to you? HA! All of your relatives are nut-cases!"

((( Jack looks down at the ground. )))

Jack: "Well, uh, yeah, but she's hot!"

Tiger: "Oh, great! A beautiful lunatic!"

((( Tiger rolls his eyes. He jumps when the bar door opens up and slams a waiter in the face. A tall woman, about 6'1" mabey even 6'2" comes barging through the door.She is wearing a grey shirt, some khakis and a black over coat. She pushes people out of the way screaming "Move it! Commin' through!". She towers over most of the crowd, so she easily spots Jack. She rushes over and butts Jack off of his stool. She smiles adoringly at Tiger. )))

Kristine: "Hi-a! I'm Kristine Otis, Jack's step sista!"

Tiger: "Uh, hi. I'm Frank Pheonix, friends just call me Tiger, though."

((( Jack gets up off the floor and gets on the stool next to Kristine. )))

Jack: "Isn't she great? And she's a wrestling fan too!"

Kristine: "F#ck off, Jack! Go away!"

Jack: "What am I supposed t' do now?

((( Kristine rolls her eyes and kicks Jack off his stool. )))

Kristine: "I dunno, go mingle or somethin'! Just beat it!"

((( Jack gets up and brushes him self off. He sulks and looks around. He sees Wee Mad Arthur sitting at his usual table. Wee Mad Arthur is a short partially bald man. He's only about 5'3", but his arm and chest muscles are huge. He's an exterminator in the neighborhood and everyone's afraid of him. That is except Jack, who doesn't hvae enough sense to. Jack walks over and smiles at Arthur. )))

Jack: "Hi, Wee Mad Arthur! What's up?"

((( Jack holds out his hand for a high-five, but Arthur doesn't respond, he only looks up at Jack with a blank expression. Jack shrugs after a few seconds and sits down across from Arthur. )))

Jack: "So, uh... How's the rat catching business?"

((( Wee Mad Arthur just stares at Jack then takes a drought from his beer glass. )))

Jack: "Good? That's good! Uh... *looks over at Kristine and Tiger, then points* I set them two up on a date! They look like a perfect couple, wouldn't ya say?"

((( Jack looks over at Wee Mad Arthur expectantly. Arthur looks over at Kristine and Tiger, but doesn't say anything. He just continues to wear his expressionless expression. Jack leans on his elbow. )))

Jack: "*sigh* Oh boy... This is gonna be one helluva borin' night."

((( Meanwhile, Kristine is rambling on and on while Tiger listens. He couldn't get a word in for ten minutes. Tiger leans on his elbow and nods to everything she says, not really listening. A tough looking man walks by and bumps into Kristine on his way. Kristine calls after him. )))

Kristine: "Hey lard ass! Watch where yer goin'!"

((( The man stops and walks back to her. He gets right up in her face. )))

Man: "You talkin' t' me?"

Kristine: "There aren't any others around here the size of a whale, Shamu!"

((( One of the most obvious trademarks in the Otis gene pool is starting fights. The man draws back and throws a punch, but Kristine ducks. The punch hits Tiger square in the face and knocks him off the stool. Kristine gasps, then gives the man a right hook to the jaw. The force knocks him to the ground. Byt his time, Tiger is up and he keeps the two apart. )))

Tiger: "Hey, everyone! This lady here would like to buy drinks for everybody!"

Kristine: "I would? No I wouldn't! I-"

((( Tiger covers her mouth and sits her back down. She scowls and folds her arms. )))

A few hours later...



((( The drinks calmed everyone down. Happy hour had long pasted and the only ones there are now Jack, Wee Mad Arthur, Kristine, Tiger, and the serious dirnkers. If anyone hadn't left it is because they passed out from drinking. Meanwhile, Kristine is still rambling on, but now it makes no sense. )))

Kristine: "Did you know that if you eat a crosant you turn invisible?"

Tiger: "Ya know what? I think you've had enough. Give me that!"

((( Tiger tries to take the beer bottle out of Kristine's hand, but she's pulls it away. )))

Kristine: "No it's mine! *Hiccup*"

((( Tiger and Kristine go into a tug-o-war until the bottle slips out of both of their hands and smashes on the floor. Kristine starts to cry like a little child. )))

* * *


((( Tiger and Jack walk down the side walk away from Kristine's house. )))

Jack: "So what'd ya think?"

Tiger: "Never introduce m to one of your relatives again Jack!"

Jack: "What? Common! She even gave you a good night kiss!"

Tiger: "Yeah, a french one! It tasted like beer!"

Jack: "Hey, it couldn't hvae been that bad."

Tiger: "It was okay, but she's just to wild for my tastes. Your relatives are worse than you! She's like you except what you'd be like if you were big enough to pick on people!"

Jack: "Whoa! That'd be cool!!"

((( Jack scratches his chin and nods, smiling, dreaming abot how great it would be to- WHAM! Jack still wearing his shades, doesn't see the light pole in front of him. )))

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