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Date Posted: 10:45:57 02/02/01 Fri
Author: Anonymous
Subject: Let's close the hospitals

Let's Close the Hospitals!

Hurrah! Geebus cures!

In this age of federal funding for superstition-based charity, I think we should take the concept one step further. Perhaps His Fraudulence should ban federally funded hospitals, doctors, and other health care providers. In their place we could have faith healers. Think about it! All those federal dollars that we could re-direct from hospital emergency rooms and doctors, to Priests, Shaman and Witch doctors!

If the idea that a belief in god will help drug-addicts, the homeless, or wife beaters cope with their suffering and pain more responsibly than federally-funded programs, then faith healers should be able to serve as the only doctors our society ever needs. There could be plenty of federally-sponsored churches that the ambulances could rush the injured and dying to. After all, god's television mouthpieces prove there is nothing that a quick slap on the forehead and a fake fainting spell wont cure!

Abortion would be unnecessary. Women experiencing an unwanted pregnancy could go to the local god-boy. He would absolve her sins with oil and water. He would give her fetus the last rites. Then, he would pray to gawd to cure her of this malignant tumor in her uterus. Because an emisary pleads on her behalf, god blesses her with a spontaneous abortion. Bada-Bing, Bada-Boom! No more morning sickness!

I say, enough with the hypocrisy! If they want to spend federal dollars to fund churches, then let's go all the way. Give the federal dollars we save closing hospitals to your favored churches so they can buy more bibles, oils, and holy water to perform their faith healings. If you really believe god is good for social programs, then you should put your faith in that same god to heal you. Tear up your HMO card right now! Change the speed dial on your telephone from 'Ambulance' to 'Church'!

Oh? What's that? You still want to be able to go to the doctor if you get sick? I guess I don't understand. If you believe your god has the power to cure drug abuse and domestic violence, why don't you believe your god has the power to heal, too?

Well, then, at least we can do away with those pesky public schools and their insistence on teaching SEXUAL TECHNIQUE and PROPAGANDIST EVOLUTION. The federal money we save there will go a long way setting up faith-based schools... (of course, only the correct faiths need apply for federal money - nothing weird like Buddhist or Catholic)

Until next time, may Zeus bless His Fraudlence, and America

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