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Subject: I believe it!

Author:
Dreemdanser

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Date Posted: 12:23:57 01/19/05 Wed
In reply to: SapphireMist 's message, "Can't believe it!" on 09:52:52 12/29/04 Wed

I am so proud of all of you!

I do appologize for my lack of posting. Between the puter being out of commish and then the holidays I haven't been here in way too long. It is so wonderful to see this site being used and even more to see you guys inspiring and encouraging each other. I am still with you. Still fighting the battle....some wins some gains, as I shared with sapphire, I finaly lost the 10 lbs I couldn't get off (for about a year) only to promptly gain it right back! Was it panic? i am not sure yet. Can't say I don't know what to do to get there, though. Can't say I can't do it. So it is all the psychological and emotional war I fight within myself. I really really liked having that 10 lbs off of me. It felt wonderful in every way. So the question is what is it that drove me to pack it back on in such a frenzy? Part of it may have been feeling like I was exposed and just "out there" with nothing between me and the rest of the world. Does that make any sense to either of you? But I really loved the way I felt....just so comfortable like I can't describe in terms of not feeling logey or encumbered or bloated or sluggish. I want that back. Even if it means I have to hide out in baggy oversized clothes sometimes so as not to feel so revealed or whatever that is that is making me feel that panic-y feeling.

finding my way, and still with u,
hugs and cheers,
Dreemy

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