Xmas Story -- Area 51 Billy Hill and the Hillbillies

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Date Posted: 07:03:08 12/11/03 Thu
Author: DA
Author Host/IP: lsanca2-ar33-4-41-056-020.lsanca2.dsl-verizon.net / 4.41.56.20
Subject: Xmas Story

REDNECK ODE TO VALENTINE'S DAY

Kudzu is green, my dog�s name is Blue.
And I�m so lucky, to have a sweet thang like you.

Your hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue�s, and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which thrill me in May.
You ain�t got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

You�re as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin� in the pan.
You�re as fragrant as SunDrop, right out of the can.

You have all your teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high, when we�re in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave your armpits,
Well, I�m in hawg heaven, I�m plumb outta my wits.

And speakin� of wits, you�ve got plenty fer shore.
�Cuz you married me, back in �74.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
What I did to deserve, such a purty young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, your there fer yore man,
To patch up life�s troubles, and stick 'em in the can.

You�re as strong as a four-wheeler, racin� through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger, named Naomi Judd.

You�re as cute as a junebug, a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain�t mean like no far ant, upon which I oft tread.

Cut from the best pattern, like a flannel shirt of plaid.
You sparked up my life, like a Rattletrap Shad.

When you hold me real tight, like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete, there ain�t nuthin� I lack.

Your complexion�s perfection, like the best vinyl sidin�.
Despite all o� them years, your age, it keeps hidin�.

And when you get old, like a �57 Chevy,
I won�t put you on blocks, and let grass grow up heavy.

Me �n you�s like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank,
We just go together, like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate, for Valentine�s Day;
They get it at Wal-Mart, it�s romantic that way.

Some men get 12 roses, on that special day,
From the cooler at Kroger, �That's impressive,� I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds, from a flea market booth.
�Diamonds are forever,� they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, my honey, these jist will not do.
For you are too special, you pretty thang you.

So I got you a gift, it�s without taste or odor,
More better than diamonds -It�s a new trollin� motor!
*sniff* love you all
Dennis

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Replies:

LOL! Loved it! :-) (NT) -- Sandy, 19:00:08 12/17/03 Wed