| Subject: Go Navy Blue- Ch. 4 |
Author:
Grandma JAG
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Date Posted: 15:22:38 11/03/02 Sun
In reply to:
Grandma JAG
's message, "Go Navy Blue" on 14:56:06 11/03/02 Sun
Part 4
USNA campus
0615 hours
Mac had tossed and turned fitfully all night. Finally at 0500 she had given up any hope of sleeping, so she decided to take an early morning run to try and clear her head. Physical exertion had always been a great stress reliever for her. After running for more than an hour, she passed by Halsey Field House and noticed that the weight room was open. Not ready to go back and face Harm yet, she set herself the task of working the machines in the circuit training course.
Only one other woman was in the room at this early hour, and upon closer inspection, Mac noticed that it was Midshipmen Pat Burmeister from their seminar. Nodding in her direction, Pat came over to her.
“Morning, ma’am,” Pat said in greeting.
“Good morning, Midshipman,” Mac returned the greeting. “You’re here early.”
“I could say the same thing about you, ma’am,” Pat replied. “Actually, I’m just doing a quick warm-up before my yoga class.”
“Yoga?” Mac asked, showing some interest.
“Yes, ma’am, have you ever tried it?” Pat could see that the colonel was tense about something.
“No, I haven’t. I always thought it was very New Age, meditation stuff. I’m not really into that.” Mac preferred more down-to-earth ways of relaxing, but maybe this was worth a shot. Anything to keep from going back to her quarters.
“Some of it can be, but this instructor is really good. She does a yoga-fit style that is a combination of exercise, stretching, and deep breathing. It’s great for reducing tension,” Pat explained. “Care to try it?”
“Why not?” Mac responded. “I’m up for something new.”
#
USNA Captain’s Row
0815 hours
Now as Mac walked back to her quarters, she found that she was totally relaxed and her mind clear. Pat was right, the yoga had relieved every ounce of tension and had caused her to get in touch with herself. She walked back at a leisurely pace, using the time to sort through her thoughts, and what she would say to Harm.
As she walked up the front steps, she heard music coming from inside the house. She opened the front door quietly, and realized that the music wasn’t coming from a recording. It was Harm playing his guitar.
He was sitting on a stool by the kitchen, his eyes closed. Mac tiptoed into the living room and sat down on the couch to watch him. He was totally immersed in his playing, his left fingers perfectly aligned on the strings, fingering each note carefully as his right hand strummed and plucked in perfect rhythm. There were no words to this song, but Harm hummed the melody softly--- a sorrowful ballad that told a lot about how he was feeling. It took Mac’s breath away to see him this way, and to listen to the beautiful sound of his guitar that seemed to have become a part of him.
When Harm finished the song, he slowly opened his eyes. Seeing Mac on the couch, he smiled cautiously and said, “Hi.”
“Hi,” Mac replied, just as cautiously. For a moment they just looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Then they both spoke at once.
“Mac....” Harm started as Mac said, “Harm.....”
Harm decided to be quiet and listen to what Mac had to say. Lord knows he had said enough last night. He wanted her to be the one to set the direction that this conversation would take.
Mac took a deep breath and started. “Harm, I’m sorry that I got so angry with you last night. I know that you care about me and that you have my best interests at heart,but sometimes I feel like you overstep your bounds of being my friend by interfering in my personal life. I pride myself on being able to take care of myself and in being the independent person that I am. I don’t need you or anyone else to jump to my defense.” She kept her voice calm because she didn’t want Harm to get defensive. She wanted to keep the same sense of peace she had received in her yoga class.
Harm knew better than to challenge what she was saying. “I respect that independence, Mac. It’s just that no one can do it alone. We have just been through a very stressful time, more than most people experience in an entire lifetime! It’s okay to reach out for support. Besides, men want to feel needed sometimes.”
“I just spent an entire evening with a group of women who are totally dependent on their husbands for everything,” Mac said, gesturing toward next door. “They don’t have lives of their own. Everything revolves around their husbands and their husbands’ careers. Some of them don’t even know how to balance a checkbook! I’m not like that, I could never be like that!”
“And I don’t want you to be like that, Mac.” Harm smiled at the thought of Mac taking on the helpless role. “You are a strong woman. That’s one of the things that has always impressed me about you. But men still need to feel like someone depends on them for some things. I don’t know, maybe it dates back to caveman days when the man was the hunter and gatherer. The roles were very clear back then.”
Mac suddenly laughed out loud. Seeing his confused look, she teased him saying, “I’m just picturing you with a club in one hand, dragging a woman by her hair with the other. Good thing I have short hair!”
Harm chuckled at her description, glad she no longer seemed angry. He gently put down his guitar and came to sit next to her on the couch.
“Seriously, Mac,” he continued. “Women’s roles have definitely changed over the years, and I think men have really been confused by them. When I approach a door with a woman, I sometimes hesitate whether to open it for her, because I don’t know if she expects me to or if I’ll get my hand slapped because it’s something she wants to do for herself. I guess that’s one reason why I like the military so much. Roles are clearly defined. Which probably explains why we get along so well as long as we are working within the military parameters, but as soon as we get out of uniform we mess things up.”
Mac gave her partner one long, amazing look. “You sound like you’ve been through counseling or something.”
Harm suddenly grinned his heart-stopping smile as he said, “I watched Dr. Phil yesterday. And you seem uncharacteristically calm,” he added, guardedly.
“I took a yoga class this morning,” Mac replied.
They both burst out laughing. “Dr. Phil?” Mac snorted.
“Yoga?” Harm countered.
“Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.” Just as quickly as she had burst into laughter, Mac got serious again. “We’ve got a long way to go if we’re going to make this work.”
“I know,” Harm said, equally serious. “So where do we start?”
Mac thought about it for a moment and then said, “How about if you stop feeling the need to come to my rescue every time another man looks at me?”
Harm pondered that thought a minute and replied, “That’s difficult, but doable. And how about if you need me for something now and then, even if it’s just reaching something on the top shelf?”
Mac smiled and said, “Agreed. Let’s shake on it.”
She stuck out her hand. Harm looked at it, tempted to take her in his arms instead. But he knew that now wasn’t the time. Without hesitating, he gave her a strong handshake and smiled.
“So what do you say we spend the day in town? I can show you all the historical places in Annapolis.” Harm stood up to put his guitar away.
“Sounds pretty boring,” Mac teased.
“How about if I throw in a few shops downtown and crab cakes at Phillips?” Harm teased back.
“Now you’re talking, sailor. Give me a half hour and we’ll be on our way.” Mac jumped up and almost ran to the shower.
Harm grinned as she shut the door to her bedroom. ‘This is more like it,’ he thought to himself.
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