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Date Posted: 12:15:37 12/29/02 Sun
Author: DoBee
Subject: A White Trash Christmas?

So I get in the car and I drive a bazillion hours to sit on my butt with the family and eat mass quantities of ham. Then I get a bunch of candles and bath products (I suspect that I smell funny), we do a few jigsaw puzzles, butcher a few old country songs, gossip about all the fringe relatives and their various trashy exploits or terminal diseases, play a game of dominoes while cracking rude jokes in front of Grandma. I can't believe I said, "Dick Cheese" in front of my Grandma.

We set up lawn chairs and a space heater in the garage so we can smoke cigarettes and drink beer while my dad & uncle have farting contests and blame the "music" on invisible reindeer. The beer drinking starts about 10am, so by evening the farting contests veer over to who can stand up the longest without leaning on something.

So it wasn't quite as cool as an Xmas NDI show would have been, but I'm all geared up for New Year's Eve now!

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