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Date Posted: 20:35:26 10/25/03 Sat
Author: Chel
Subject: Its so easy
In reply to: kyser 's message, "OK ..ME AGAIN" on 12:33:07 10/24/03 Fri

To label suicide as a cowardly act but in reality strength has nothing to do with it. I was around when you told us about your cousin (is your anger the reason you had the tattoo removed Blade?), one of my best friends killed himself but instead of being angry at him I was angry at myself for not seeing just how much pain he was in. It isn't about wanting to die, like Bren said it is about wanting the pain to go away and unless you are in that situation you will never know what it really feels like. I didn't want to leave my kids or hurt them but I also felt that I was so useless to them that they would be better without me. I know now that it isn't true but when you are suffering like that you just cannot think rationally or logically. I hope that none of you ever get to feel what it is like, but if you do I think you will have more empathy for those in the situation.

I feel bad for all your family Blade, but ultimately your cousins suicide had nothing to do with any of you. You are right in saying he wasn't thinking about his family cause he wouldn't have been but that wouldn't have been in a selfish way. The darkness is so overwhealming that you cant see or feel anything except the pain. The taking of life, weither it be anothers or your own, goes so against my belief system and when I am thinking rationally and normally the thought of wanting to take my own life horrifies me. Anyone who knows me knows that, but there I was in so much pain and having so much hatred towards myself that I was prepared to do it. The anger you feel however is a normal part of the grieving process, it is something that you have to move through on the way to acceptance, just be careful not to get stuck there. No one ever makes us feel a certain way, we choose that.

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Replies:

I know why he killed himslef -- Blade, 16:24:19 10/26/03 Sun
- wow so much info...in the words of buffy -- sharon, 17:18:30 10/30/03 Thu
  - Well put sharon -- Blade, 21:50:05 10/31/03 Fri
  - Well put sharon -- Blade, 21:50:55 10/31/03 Fri
    - that is true -- sharon, 15:50:32 11/01/03 Sat