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Date Posted: 18:40:29 10/28/03 Tue
Author: Gen
Subject: Wow
In reply to: Chel 's message, "And now for my spill" on 23:24:16 10/18/03 Sat

Ok well, I started on this post, wanting to get all read up, and only planned on writing when I'd read what everyone had said but after seeing what you said CHel, I kinda HAD to put something down now. SO, I havent read anything but CHel's first post, so Im probably being irrelevant and not at all ontrack. Oh well. Here goes: jeesh. I was hugley suprised at what you said. I m really glad, though, tha you told everyone : iknow it sounds cliched but it really is amazing to have people you can just talk to (write?) and not have to worry about being judged. Chel, I think you are amazingly brave, I really do. When I was 14 my boyfriend died, and I pretty much went off the tracks. I've always been a litttle bipolar **laughs**, but I suppose I went really off. Y'see, the thing is I was at my worst when I wasnt acting like I was. When I was 16, about a month into coming here, I tried to kill myself.I've never told anyone this before, but you kind of inspired me to be open with it *smiles at her friend*. I went to my mothers medicine cuboard and I shoved down as many pills as I could and then lay down on my bed. My brother found me, and tried to make me vomit it up, but I wouldnt. They took me to the hospital, and I had my stomach pump. My mother couldnt even look at me afterward, so I got sent home with her friend, who basically told me that I was worthless, pathetic and she thought that it would've been better if I'sd actually managed to get it right. I completley know where you're coming from, obviously: its so hard to explain what it feels like when youre in the depths of depression. I...man, I dont really know what to say or how to justify it. I guess I kind of sorted myself out with, well, God. I dont want to pander my crazy charismatic, evangilist ways here, but as terrible and tele-evangelist as it sounds, that's what helped me. You've got to do what helps you- and thats obviously being independant from your husband and being with your kids, starting a new life. I really think you're amazing, Chel :) I hope you dont mind me being so thunder-stealy.

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Replies:

Anyone that hasnt tried to off themselves here? -- Blade, 00:33:16 10/29/03 Wed
- well -- kyser, 08:25:20 10/29/03 Wed
  - Lifes a bitch than you die -- Blade, 13:59:03 10/30/03 Thu
    - ummmm -- kyser, 14:06:50 10/30/03 Thu
      - Kyser, I like you best of all :) -- Genna, 18:51:05 10/30/03 Thu
        kyser=xx -- kyser, 09:04:05 10/31/03 Fri
        Yes u r -- Blade, 21:54:02 10/31/03 Fri
        yup, you're funny (NT) -- kyser, 11:15:12 11/01/03 Sat
        I know -- Blade, 16:57:49 11/02/03 Sun
        all I know -- kyser, 17:50:44 11/02/03 Sun
        Whatever (NT) -- Blade, 12:07:18 11/03/03 Mon
        Oh, you two love eachother :) (NT) -- Genna, 22:54:25 11/04/03 Tue