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Date Posted: 23:10:27 11/10/00 Fri
Author: Zeitgeist
Subject: Sing your life....

I just realised why I loved the time I spent almost every free moment I had online here with you guys..... The complete lack of pretentiousness.... Or at least those of us who were pretentious were easy enough to ignore.... At any rate, it's the biggest difference I can find between you guys and the people I know in real life....

Where do people get these attitudes from? At what point do they decide that they are the bee's knees and everyone else isn't?

I was going to go out tonight.... To the same nightclub as always.... It has particular appeal because it's one of the few left in Sydney which still has no cover charge. And also it has the least amount of the forementioned attitude that I've found at any nightclub.

The problem is, like everything in Sydney, it is an horrendous distance for me to travel. Reason #1 for me wanting to move out of my parents house.

It was the lack of interest from both myself and my boy that led us to the mutual decision to give it a miss tonight. We could both use the sleep anyways....

I tried to learn to play Civilisation: Call to Power once again. Honestly this game is soooo complexe compared to previous versions... grrrr.....

So now I'm listening to "All Cats are Grey" by the Cure, which always makes me maudlin for some reason..... It is a very beautiful song that's for sure.

At the moment however it makes me feel a lil sad.... I guess my idea of what a relationship was had been far too idealistic. I never thought I'd have to be alone on a friday night. I never thought I'd go a whole day without hearing his voice.... I guess the reality of the situation hit me hard. I always assumed that whoever I finally dated would have parents who were much more understanding then mine.... I guess I even relied on it....

It seems a little weird to say it, but I really do forget sometimes how much society as a whole has a problem with it.... Like I'll go to kiss him, and he'll just say "not here" before I realise we're standing on a main street in Parramatta (a suburb west of Sydney)... It's quite numbing really....

It's not like either of us have it really bad. No one actually treats us badly. But in the interest of not grossing people out and not offending anyone we have to censor our actions, our words, and often even our thoughts.... All this so the truth which seems obvious to everyone (based solely on the looks we get) isn't revealed in any overt way.

For some people the idea of this never enters their head. There is a restaurant in Parramatta which our group goes to often. The waiters know us by our faces... We go there after our youth group meets, and we laugh it up and some of us even act quite camp.... It's quite funny to notice the reactions of the other patrons. Most are quite cool.... But some shift tables. This supper is always followed by our goodbyes on the street... Most of us will just say a goodbye, but my friend Steve is fond of blowing kisses.... He's sooo cute, but soooooo very very gay hehehehe.... He's a real sweetie. It's quite funny, because I'm certain that he has no idea what he looks like.... It's just natural to him.... And it never enters his mind that we're standing on the main street of what is the worst known suburb for mugging, etc in Sydney....

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