Author:
Designated Darian
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Date Posted: 23:10:38 07/05/05 Tue
In reply to:
Chad
's message, "I am making this post under duress......" on 20:09:46 07/05/05 Tue
Anyone who says when you're not drinking, drunks annoy you have never hung out with my insane circle (as in concentric circle of HELL) of friends. Drunken Chad is even funnier than sober Chad. Mikey, you're my only witness. Mikey and I were having a very interesting *sober* conversation while Cheeky iterjected every two seconds with uttter and complete non sequiturs like:
"Tell her about the time we were trying to piss and discovered a portal to the country bar." or:
"This hard lemonade is yummy. I'm gonna sneak it into the movies in my tummy."
"Hey Darian I just found a fifty dollar cift gertificate (that's not a typo, that's a direct quote)" and
"One time (alas not at band camp) I pissed on my father's alarm clock while I was asleep and I punched the fuck out of a poster because I thought it was a seagull. Not a seagal, because those are the Seahawk cheerleaders. Wanna see...I'll find it...I AM THE INTERNET...Mikey is my best friend (he was entering the I love you man stage at that point) you guys are the bestest. Let's watch a guy fall off a ladder. Look how his head bounces." another crowd pleaser-
"that was a pun, D and a pun is it's own reword. HAAAAA. Get it? I'm gonna write that down so I remember it tomorrow."
"Hey don't tell the Cali posse that I got drunk on hard lemonade. They'll think I'm a pussy. But I was craving something tart... yes tart. That's an interesting word... tart."
The rest is somewhat of a blur. You people really have the nerve to call ME random? I beg your pardon?! I couldn't catch all the dialouge in Cheeky's one drunken man extravaganza but I did manage to gleam a few choice details from his sordid past. Mikey, correct me if I get any of these wrong...
-Colin McMillan lived on Kent Street, (we went over that at least a dozen times)had a party and you were passed out but came to long enough to perfectly recite a tongue twister so they stole your car and dragged you (ala the Weekend at Bernie's corpse) to a Sobey's staff x-mas party in a church in Clayton Park. Apparently along the way, someone stuck his arm out of the window, threw up on himself, retracted the arm and proclaimed "man that rain is chunky."
-all of you have at some point vomited on the head of a cheerleader (too many jokes...too little time.)
-You had a friend named Stinky Legere who was "so fucking stinky" that you would sit around and get drunk while conjuring up similes about just how rank he was. My two favorites would have to be...
"Stinky smells like a trucker's 'roid cushion"
"Stinky smells like a sumo wrestler's shit on a wet tire."
Geeks gone wild, next time I'll capture it on video. Mikey, I took good care of him, although I wasn't permitted to leave until I scratched his elbows and knees like a kitty until my hands were numb then tucked him in. I'm guessing when his alarm wakes him up at 7, he'll be wondering why he's face down in his Calvin Klein undies on the conference table in his office. Don't blame me, Cheeky. I was merely a spectator.
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