| Subject: I can tell you what a Monkey Boy is |
Author:
Renee
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Date Posted: 15:10:40 06/26/05 Sun
In reply to:
Chad
's message, "Conky!?" on 13:57:01 06/26/05 Sun
but what the heck is a conky? Is that a canadian honky?
Monkey Boy is John August, one of Darian's producers and foils on KBGG. I forget what she called the other one but there was some serious sexual tension there and they used to get in big fights on the air and throw things at each other. It was much funnier then it sounds. I guess you had to be there. Monkey boy on the other hand took far worse abuse. She once had him patrol the castro (the gay, very gay district in leather chaps with his hairy butt sticking out covered in bubble wrap. People paid a buck to 'pop' him and D gave the money to a local AIDS hospice. For Cinco de Mayo (May 5th) she celebrated by turning him into a human pinata at the BART station and commuters got to take a whack at him with a stick to score some free candy. He returned to the studio with quite the headache. Thank you Monkey Boy for the information you left for me. I played the message for my fellow Darian fans because your voice is unmistakeable and we about wet our pants when we heard you refer to her as Darian O'Tollie. In the 4 years he was there he never called her D or Darian or Red or Dar like everyone else. He always called her Darian O'Tollie. But the most memorable Monkey moment for me was the day he told Sammy the Psychic (who was never right about any of her predictions) that his cat had jumped out the window and he asked her where to look for him. Before Sammy could respond, Darian piped in with "jackass, you live on the 12th floor...look down. And now I'm addicted to your message board after sifting through 3 pages of posts. Wowee. It's not as good as having you here every morning but it's entertaining. I noticed a lot of entries from Koko. Now, would that be the Koko of Mark the Synergy Muffin fame? I recall he once bench pressed Monkey Boy for charity and although I sadly missed this one, my assistant Lisa was at Stinson Beach the day of the infamous photo shoot. She thanks you still and says your boyfriend, yet another studly Italian wasn't amused after 7 hours of you being mauled by naked friends and x's with washboard abs. Oh well, I'll always have Anthony Sabato. TY again Monkey.
Chad, if you truly look like Screech in real life, you must introduce me to your photographer or makeup artist because you look like one of Darian's typical beefy muffins and you definitely are as funny as she demands. Just another pretty face won't get you far with her. She's quick on her feet, that's for sure. Besides, she used to lament all the time about her bad luck with billboard photos. There was the famous huge one on the side of a building that Peter Max painted a mustache on, the ones on buses all over the bay area that were in b&w except for her red harir and blue eyes. She said it made her look jaundice, and hoped more people would listen to her because they would assume she had Hepatitis and feel sorry for her. There were also huge ones of her on the bridges that I thought were gorgeous. She said she looked horny and homicidal, both of which were and are probably true. But the topper by far... "Ovaries with Attitude" bus signs that she actually loved that were pulled by the Contra Costa Transit authority for being too sexual. She made such a stink about it they eventually put them back up. It was priceless D. One day she called the head of the CCTA and asked him if he realized they were on the inside? Then she told him to check the next time he took his wife's Victoria Secret catalogue to the bathroom to see how much a push up ovarie harness costs. So you see, Screech, you'll fit right in and I can't think of a better reason to defect to our country than to play with Darian.
It's a pity you're hung like a third grader. Or are you the one who's bow legged? There was a lot to take in for one day. My brain hurts. Bring her back Chad! Sorry I called you Chaz. That's my husband's name. You two sound wonderful together. Please come back soon!
Renee Beery
225 West Santa Clara Street
Suite 600
San Jose, CA 95113-1728
408-704-4661
MB, if you live here in San Jose, call me and I'll treat to you to lunch so we can share Darian stories. I promise not to strike you with any blunt objects.
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