susan -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: susan

Author:
Heather

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Date Posted: 10:18:05 02/25/07 Sun
In reply to: susan 's message, "Re: its not a easy journey" on 08:33:07 02/23/07 Fri

I feel really down this weekend. I hate feeling this way but it's my own fault really. I am sure you can imagine why. He makes me feel as if I am mentally unstable and I know that I am not. It's not him doing it either, it's me. He came to see my son last weekend. He is clean. He is really nice, but I guess I am not getting what I really want and it make me so mad, then sad to the point that I cry. All the damage from the past still haunts me so bad and I wonder when I wil get over it and get past it and be able to stop feeling so much pain in my heart and in my mind. What do I really expect out of life? I feel like I am not getting what I deserve out of life, sort of like I have been short changed. I love my boys so much but the older they get, the harder my life gets. Susan,I feel so tired. Tired of the routine, tired of being alone doing this by myself. I have no patience for any man, so how do expect to ever find anyone? I have no trust for any man. Maybe I need to go talk to someone?
Sorry to pour this all out on you. You know it sucks, after all these years I still love that stupid man. Why? He is trying so hard and I just don't know how to let go of everything and jus tbe friends with him for our son. Why? I mean he has apologized over and over from the heart. I guess I feel he has no heart because of everything he has done. How do I forgive him? He says he wants to spend forever with me and the boys. He says he has been depressed. he keeps doing everything and anything for me. Susan I don't know how to forgive him. Should I? I think time and seeing if he is for real, but do I really want to even see?

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: susan	Heather	10:45:19 02/25/07 Sun
Re: susan -- SUSAN, 08:35:26 02/26/07 Mon Re: susan -- susan, 09:48:45 02/26/07 Mon