| Subject: Re: Heather |
Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 13:12:46 02/26/07 Mon
In reply to:
Susan
's message, "Re: Heather" on 12:31:32 02/26/07 Mon
I can't really tell you how I made it through, but I know in the end I am a much stronger person. I was really naive to begin with so this brought me to a place where I needed to be and I don't regret going through this now. I don't back down from asking for what I want, nor do I let anyone walk all over me anymore. I speak my mind about every situation whether it bothers the other person or not. You won't get what you don't ask for.
Spencer and I had a really good friendship but I do beleive now it can be better. He seems to have opened up the lines of communication from his side really good. Only time can tell and I am willing to stay grounded with who I am separately. I feel that is really important. If he is to use again, the dissapointment and the pain will be there no doubt, how I will handle it will be another thing. I don't really know but I know it will be way different than before. I am just hoping that he doesn't. We so far have kept the communication open and if we are watching something that isn't appropriate for him to watch, he will tell me that he feels it is a trigger. Time will handle his addiction. He is a different person and that also makes a huge difference. He isn't perfect, yes he has made tons of mistakes, but he is working on forgiving himself and that is great for him. I haven't promised anything to him, I promised my friendship and he accepted. I told him that is the best foundation for a relationship and if it comes to the point where I can say "you are my best friend" I will ask you if I am your best friend and we can take it a step further. I still have the same goals and plans I had before he asked for this chance. Only now, he may be able to join us. We also learned something new about each other, through all of this, we have the same career goals. That is exciting. He has his own business right now that he is doing, and doing good I might add, but one day soon he wants to take his goals to a different level, the same level I have already planned.
Friendship is exciting. The kids are excited and I have talked to them about this. The trust is still not there, but if things keep going this way, I am sure the trust will build. I feel good about ME and that helps tremendously. That time alone was the best time I could have had for ME to learn about ME. I feel confident that my life will prevail no matter what. =)
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