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Subject: Re: Sad Grandmother


Author:
Tammy
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Date Posted: 12:06:52 03/12/07 Mon
In reply to: Lucy 's message, "Sad Grandmother" on 01:09:00 03/09/07 Fri
 Hi Lucy,

My name is Tammy and I am also raising a grandchild. We have had her for over two years now and adopted her in Oct. of last year. There is nothing that anyone can say that will ease the pain that you are feeling, I know that first hand. But what they say about letting go...it's the only choice that you have right now. You can not funtion as a grandparent and parent while hanging onto something that is out of your hands. There is nothing that you can do right now but take care of your grandchild. The sooner you figure this out the easier life will get.

I have had to let go of my daughter and it killed me at first but things are getting easier. At first I did the thing of looking for her and trying to help her. It didn't work, it just made my life miserable and also my families live's miserable because I was obsessed with trying to help her. I also couldn't funtion as a parent to my grandchild because I was worried about what my daughter was feeling. She was good at making me think that she cared about her daughter and that she was going to do everything possible to get her back. When things fell through not only did I get hurt but my granddaughter did also. Her mommy would play the game of trying and being there for a month or two and then she would disappear again leaving my granddaughter wondering where she had went.

Only you can make the choice to let go of your daughter and although I know it's not an easy one; the sooner you let go the sooner you and your grandchild can begin to heal. Just know that in your heart nothing you did caused her to use and nothing you do will make her stop. As a mother of an meth addict I know the pain you are going through. I think it is the worse pain I have ever felt. The only thing worse would be my daughters death, but if this happens I am going to have no other choice but to go on with life. Turn your daughter over to God, someone once told me that they would physically imagine themselves wrapping their child in a blanket and handing that child to God. Me....I do this every night except when I do it I duck tape the blanket real good so she can't get out and then I hand her to God...lol Don't forget who you are through all of this and keep your humor, it's the only thing that will get you through. You will be in my prayers.
Tammy
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Subject Author Date
Re: Sad GrandmotherLucy01:58:22 03/18/07 Sun

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