| Subject: Re: Addicts mom sent daughter a present -Her Response |
Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 12:56:10 01/02/07 Tue
In reply to:
Shelly
's message, "Addicts mom sent daughter a present -Her Response" on 11:13:37 01/02/07 Tue
You know Shelly, you are doing the best you can. So you gave the email address to her grandma, that is fine, they can have a relationship, but I do feel the emails should be monitered. Your daughter is too young to have to deal with any animosity between that family and you. It isn't her fault, it isn't your fault, and it isn't the grandma's fault. She will learn soon enough about her son if she hasn't already. Some people are terribly naive. My family is terrible naive. It took them years to see through my cousins meth problem and the other cousin selling meth. So let that anger go. Hey it took me years to see that my husband was using drugs every single day. I feel stupid that I didn't realize it, didn't listen to those who seen what I didn't see, but owell, what is done is done. He can lie to his mom all he wants. She loves him no matter what, so just remember it isn't about you really. She may be in pain and not want to admit it. Blood is thicker than water, that is a fact.
Anyhow, tomorrow at your court hearing. Be calm, but don't hold back any information and if tomorrow is the last time you need to be in court, so be it, then let it all go. Move on. You have done all you can and you need to live your life not worried about him and his family.
How many times do you think the grandma will write your daughter? If she wants to have a relationship with her, great, let it happen, but since she hasn't really been in her life, put down some boundaries and stick to them. If another letter comes, I am not sure if I would open it. Really I don't think after all this time I would. I would give myself time to get over this, time to heal, and time to move on from it and then open it. If she wants a relationship with her she can always file with the courts for visitations and you can at that time let the courts know you do not want your daughter around her dad because he is an addict and then the grandma will have to abide by that ruling as well or go to jail for her son, her choice. But for now, Shelly, take the time you need to rest from all of this. I know exactly where you are and I cannot wait until you get here where I am finally. I feel peace about this all. Who cares what he does, he is missing out, but you are not, and you should only be concerned about you and your daughter. Your daughter will be fine without him and without his family. Really she will. You are a loving mother and are doing your best to take care of her emotionally, mentally, and physically. I am sure she appreciates you for all of that. The only concern I have is this and because I too see it in my home. The more you mention it around or to her, she cannot move on from it. Kids can kick things better than we can. Some things need to be left unsaid. She know everything now, so it would be a good time to let it go so she can get over it too.
I hope some of this advice helps. It is what I have to do too.
Love ya,
Heather
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