Re: I feel so down -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: I feel so down

Author:
Heather

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Date Posted: 08:59:15 08/23/06 Wed
In reply to: Kelly2 's message, "Re: I feel so down" on 23:53:29 08/22/06 Tue

Yes you are right. He is not believing me because I am not believable. I want to be. I really want this to end. I think I have made a tremendous amount of progress and have learned along the way. This knowledge is obviously something I needed to learn for my future. When you pray and ask for something, God teaches you a lesson first and you decide is you want it or not. Well he taught me that this is not the way I deserve to be treated and I learned that an addict is not someone I want to be with. Remember I have a past history of being with addicts, unknown at the time I was with them. Something attracted me to them - co dependency, but as I keep learning, I am no longer attracted to an addict. I know one when I see one and get this, the devil is at work around my house and I live in one of the better neighborhoods in Los Angeles County. My neighbors to the left - addicts - YUK, my neighbors to my right - addicts, they are on vacation and their daughter is there with her two little ones - she and all her friends - addicts and they have been there for almost 2 weeks now - partying all night. They all look so gross. She used to be beautiful - I seen her the other evening and oh my gosh- she looks horrid. She is 21 and looks older than me. Then I seen this beautiful girl that was going there yesterday and I was thinking "What is she doing hanging out with these people?" I am sure that is what people said about me.
I also have to learn that I need to stop talking about it with people. I need to use this board to discuss and let it out. People are sick of hearing about it and I am tired of talking about it. TIRED! DONE! I feel really excited about the divorce hearing coming up. I cannot wait to get it over with and move on from there. Sometimes I feel as if I don't want to ever get married again because of this feeling of it isn't over until it's really over by the courts. But then I think " If I get married again, it will not be to someone like Spencer so I will most likely not have to worry. I prayed to God to ask him to send me the man he has for me and I will not be looking, it will happen and he will be a christian man. So this is all a learning experience and I am taking it as that. I love who I have become since this mess happened and I plan on continuing learning about me. Kelly I have been doing stuff for me. I finished my real estate class and even passed the class exam, rec'd my certificate last week and now I need to study for the state exam. My dad is going to help me in Feb. or March to get this off the ground. I know I can sell Real Estate, but he will help with finances so I can do it full time and not have to go back to my day job. My parents are Owners or to Brokerage offices and they do so well, so it's in the blood. I'm the one that they KNOW can sell. I know I can do anything, I just need that support because I am raising two children.
And the kids and me are going on vacation to Seattle next week for 1 week. We are so excited. We deserve this vacation.
Thanks for writing to me Kelly. Everyone's thoughts and advice helps more than you can possibly imagine.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: I feel so down	Kelly2	11:20:35 08/23/06 Wed
Re: I feel so down -- Heather, 13:47:49 08/23/06 Wed Re: I feel so down -- Shelly, 21:08:50 08/25/06 Fri