Re: Should I tell my daugher about her dad's drug use???? -- METH HELP FOR FAMILIES

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Subject: Re: Should I tell my daugher about her dad's drug use????

Author:
Shelly

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Date Posted: 15:02:52 07/18/06 Tue
In reply to: Wendi 's message, "Re: Resources for legal help w/child visitation issues??" on 14:47:51 07/18/06 Tue

Thank you for your replies. Here is my big dilemna in telling my daughter. She just met him a few years ago and I am so hopeful (okay -I know this sounds co-dependent) that he will get clean and she will never be the wiser. Would me telling her he has a problem screw with her feelings for him even worse than just explaining (like I have) that some people have poor coping mechanisms and her dad tends to retreat when he is stressed and it is no reflection of her or his love for her. I am so torn on what to tell her as she is so vunerable when it comes to him. When we found out he was using, he begged and pleaded w/me to see her -she didn't want to see him b/c he had broken so many promises and was just not consistant. He ended up coming over and she caved so fast -making it clear she wants a relationship with him so bad! I am not positive he is using again -but as I said things were going good and now he hasn't asked to see her in 4 weeks and he hasn't responded to any of his mothers emails in 2 months. How do you tell a young pre-teen that the dad she just met has a drug problem? Am I being co-dependent from wanting to protect him and her view of him? This whole thing is causing me so much stress and worry I am having stomach issues and am near tears when I have to think about it all. I hate this drug...I hate him for doing this to me and worse to her! I am so angry while at the same time scared and sad for both him and my daughter. I really need advise on how to handle this so my daughter isn't damaged.
BTW -when he told us he had been using he had been smoking it for a yr. and became parinoid. He 'quit' on his own. I was there with him through his withdrawls and saw how much better he became. That was 4 months ago. This recent not asking to see his daughter has me believing he is using again -but I haven't seen him so I am only going on a hunch.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: Should I tell my daugher about her dad's drug use????	Heather	16:02:55 07/18/06 Tue

Re: Should I tell my daugher about her dad's drug use????	Heather	16:11:07 07/18/06 Tue
Re: Should I tell my daugher about her dad's drug use???? -- Shelly, 16:23:28 07/18/06 Tue Re: Should I tell my daugher about her dad's drug use???? -- Heather, 16:53:34 07/18/06 Tue Re: Should I tell my daugher about her dad's drug use???? -- Wendi, 09:42:48 07/19/06 Wed